You say tomato
I personally felt the world was coming to an end when I heard about the tomato scare. But clearly not everyone agrees with me that a summer without tomatoes would be a summer not worth living through.
Namely Multimedia Editor and Resident Cheeseburger, Wings and Crab Ball Expert John Lindner. Notice he isn't our Resident Fruits and Vegetables Expert.
Anyway, here's his take on the whole crisis: ...
(AP Photo/Matt Rourke)
You say tomato
I’m stressed, stressed at my indifference to the current tomato scare.
I fear no tomato.
It’s a laughable berry*, ketchup in its larval state.
Nevertheless, taxed as a vegetable.
Hmpf!
Sorry. I can’t accept it as a killer.
*or fruit, part of the nightshade family
Death of a Tomato
Categories: Shallow Thought Wednesdays






Comments
That was pretty disgusting!
Posted by: Dahlink | June 11, 2008 6:07 AM
Dahlink, it reminds me of the dude who gets his face melted at the end of Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Posted by: Sam Sessa | June 11, 2008 8:06 AM
JL, there's soemthing bad wrong with you...
Posted by: Rosebud | June 11, 2008 8:09 AM
"Mr. Peanut wouldn't hurt me ... he's a leguuuuume." -- Dennis FInch
When I was young we were taught that a tomato is a fruit when raw, but a vegetable when cooked. Thus my mad skillz in alchemy.
I used to think I was clever when I knew that avocados and olives were fruits. The I realized that what I know is ... bupkis.
FROM WIKI: Many foods are botanically fruit, but are treated as vegetables in cooking and food preparation. These include cucurbits (e.g., squash, pumpkin, and cucumber), tomato, peas, beans, corn, eggplant, and sweet pepper, spices, such as allspice and chillies.[2] Occasionally, though rarely, a culinary "fruit" is not a true fruit in the botanical sense. For example, rhubarb is often referred to as a fruit, because it is used to make sweet desserts such as pies, however only the petiole of the rhubarb plant is edible.[7] In the culinary sense, a fruit is usually any sweet tasting plant product associated with seed(s), a vegetable is any savoury or less sweet plant product, and a nut any hard, oily, and shelled plant product.[8]
Although a nut is a type of fruit, it is also a popular term for edible seeds, such as peanuts (which are actually a legume) and pistachios.[9] Technically, a cereal grain is a fruit termed a caryopsis. However, the fruit wall is very thin and fused to the seed coat so almost all of the edible grain is actually a seed. Therefore, cereal grains, such as corn, wheat and rice are better considered edible seeds, although some references list them as fruits.[10] Edible gymnosperms seeds are often misleadingly given fruit names, e.g. pine nuts, ginkgo nuts, and juniper berries.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gymnosperm | June 11, 2008 8:22 AM
But still kinda cool!
Posted by: Doug | June 11, 2008 8:32 AM
And is this really so out of the question?
Posted by: Rosebud | June 11, 2008 8:34 AM
Whatever...that video is revoltin', altho I AM curious to know how long it took to record. Somebody has WAY too much time on his/her hands.
And thank you, OMG, for the dissertation on fruits/vegetables/nuts. I love the smell of edification in the morning!
Posted by: Dottie | June 11, 2008 9:41 AM
Gosh, I can't wait to get home to see what appears under "Death of a Tomato." The silly filter at work is preventing viewing at this time.
Posted by: Piano Rob | June 11, 2008 9:41 AM
Multimedia Editor and Resident Cheeseburger, Wings and Crab Ball Expert John Lindner wrote: "Sorry. I can’t accept it as a killer."
I guess he's never seen Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
Posted by: Mr. Old Fart | June 11, 2008 10:11 AM
This is a tomato snuff movie. I am outraged at the callousness and depravity which he displays in even letting this video see the light of day on this blog.
That poor tomato never did anything to hurt anybody!
Posted by: Susan WNAJ | June 11, 2008 10:13 AM
OMG flogs the edibleness of the petiole of the rhubarb and I'm the bad wrong callous depraved guy???
Posted by: jl | June 11, 2008 11:20 AM
It's not like supermarket tomatoes are worth eating anyway.... I'm patiently awaiting my own tomato crop and will be content to not eat flavorless store-boughten 'maters until then.
Posted by: theminx | June 11, 2008 11:23 AM
Rosebud - ya gotta love the Onion. That was so funny I had to dash to the privy. Now, does anyone know how I can view the snuff film without waiting another six hours? In other words, where online might I also find it? Thanks.
Posted by: Piano Rob | June 11, 2008 11:23 AM
All the fruit/vegetable contamination issues reminds me of that advice in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy --- that the secret to healthy hitchhiking is to eat junk food. Except for the nasty problem with the trans fats!
Posted by: Liz Kay | June 11, 2008 11:54 AM
Here it is, Rob.
Posted by: Rosebud | June 11, 2008 12:23 PM
Rosebud, it is only a matter of time, I'm afraid ...
Posted by: Dahlink | June 11, 2008 12:40 PM
Thanks, Rosebud. Frankly, I don't see why anyone thinks it's disgusting. Rather, it's a clever use of time lapse photography. Now, if you want to see something that will bring power-ballad tears to your eyes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W24dVbH85wc
Posted by: Piano Rob | June 11, 2008 1:29 PM
I have days like this!
Maybe I should pull a dozen or so screen shots from the video and frame the relevant one outside my office door so people will know what to expect when they walk in.
Posted by: MD Canon | June 11, 2008 1:32 PM
OMG: Never thought I would read more than I wanted to know about food. But thanks for confirming my good judgment in never consulting Wiki.
Posted by: Federal Hill Jim | June 11, 2008 2:46 PM
It's all semantics, FHJ. You can safely ignore ...
Posted by: Dahlink | June 11, 2008 4:24 PM