Crab-tastic fun from you know who
In case Crab Week has seemed a little, well, mainstream to you (except, of course, for Amanda's first video), Owl Meat is here with some wacky multimedia crab-tastic fun and a crab-related Mystery Product.
Remember the rule: No looking up ingredients on the Internet. After all, if you guess right you might actually win the Ear Wax Candy or one of the other fabulous prizes. Here we go: ...
Produto Quinta-Feira do Mistério
(Mystery Product Thursday)
Dê boas-vindas a meus amigos! (Welcome back, Frankenfood groms.) At first I wasn't inspired to do a Mystery Product for Crab Week, because you would already know that it's crab. Then I ate some leftover mushroom flan and a Hopi medicine man came to me in a dream.
He said, "The proof is in the rock. The proof is in the rock."
Hmmm ... at first I thought he wanted me to smoke crack, but that just didn't seem right. Then it hit me, "Proof ... rock, proofrock, prue frock, pure frock." So I visited Father Ignatius and he hit me on the side of my head and reminded me of this: I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas. Still nothing. I ran out of St. Guillermo's just as Father Iggie was about to chalice-whack me.
As I was tweaking my illegal satellite hookup to try to get some Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I came upon my favorite fighter Antônio Gonçalves Dias a.k.a. Caranguejo Louco (Crazy Crab). [Owl Meat sent me a fabulous photo of Crazy Crab, but I couldn't make the link work, so he's is going to post it in a comment. EL] Inspiration at last! And then I did the Mystery Dance.
You may want to ease yourself into the fracas by checking out this girl playing a harp and singing about clams, crabs, cockles, and cowries. You may know Joanna Newsom from such benefit concerts as Let's Save Tony Orlando's House. I have also included some other multimedia crab-tastic fun:. Crab Fu - Crab Kung Fu Crab Origami Crab vs Dog - I guess he didn't see the sign at the top. Smoking Crab -- Just stoopid. This week's prizes are A box of Ear Wax candy ; one of my super-tastic vinyl records: Jonah Jones' I Dig Chicks;
or boxing lessons from my half-cousin Chino Alvarez, a.k.a. Kid Guapo (retired).
Today's product has three parts that combine to create a dish that is more heavenly than a backhoe full of ladies in polyester pants.
Part 1: Water, Casein, Corn Syrup, Sodium Phosphate, Modified Food Starch, Salt, Potassium Chloride, Lactic Acid, Natural Flavor, Calcium Phosphate, Artificial Flavor, Sorbic Acid (Preservative), Carrageenan, Locust Bean Gum, Xanthan Gum, Artificial Color, Vitamin A Palmitate, Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Vitamin B12
Part 2: Jumbo lump crab meat, chives, spices, salt
Part 3: Mycoprotein, rehydrated egg white, enriched wheat flour (niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), canola oil, onions, textured wheat protein (wheat protein, wheat starch), Contains 2% or less of whey protein concentrate, salt, buttermilk powder, rice flour, dextrose, yeast, garlic powder, autolyzed yeast extract, tapiocastarch, pectin, natural flavors, sunflower oil, ascorbic acid,black and white pepper, citric acid, onion powder, gum arabic, celery seed, calcium lactate, paprika extract, lemon oil
So ... let us go then, you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky ...