I am non-nonplussed that the world's crabbiest blogware wouldn't let you see Caranguejo Louco, but there he is in Callinectes sapidus glory. Can you smell what he's cooking? Yeah, it's victory.

Grrr, that worked last night and now it sort of does. If that link above doesn't work try this one:
http://www.worth1000.com/entries/23500/23901_w.jpg

or click on my name Owl Meat Gravy for this comment. So much for a dramatic entrance.

never tried one of these before so don't judge me harshly! Could it be Phillips frozen crab cakes?

Nah, not Philips, but nice try. I'm always as nice as possible here, because I want people to play. No judgements, just crabtasticness.

Since you are the first player Joyce, you win an extra special bonus prize. When I took my jean jacket to the jean jacket cleaners, I also found a vintage unwrapped root beer barrel in the pocket from Grandma Gewürztraminer circa ... well, let's just say Phil Collins had hair.

I had to right-click the JPG image, save it to the desktop, and chick on the image from the desktop in order to open it.

By the way, the exact same image, with the exact same URL, was posted on June 4, 2008, at 3:40 PM, in a comment under the "Crabs and beer: Does it matter what kind?" by "Tina Jamboree" (click her name). Does this indicate a link between Owl Meat and Tina?

I had to copy the URL he gave and paste it to call the picture up. Weird. EL

Good sleuthing. Yes, I was momentarily Tina Jamboree yesterday. Sorry for the subterfuge, but I wanted to sneak it in to see if it worked. It worked in preview, but that means nothing. I didn't think anyone would click on her URL. I'll bet most people never do. Anyway, this particular photo was a real pain, but well worth it.

Sponge Bob Crabby Patty.

My first thought was a crab cupcake, but that thought is just too disgusting for this early in the morning. Or really bad fake moo shu crab.

Part 3 looks like it might be something like a frozen pizza. I've never seen a crab pizza though, so probably not. Maybe some sort of frozen pasta dish...

Please tell me it's not a non-dairy cheez slice on crab meat on a fake (vegan?) chicken patty... Eeeew.

Or, how about crab dip in a bread bowl?

I'm still thinking about, and re-reading, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock."

A Crab Puff?

I LOVE the creative guesses, because almost none of them are implausible. Like the crab soft pretzel - I will NEVER wrap my brain around that one. Crab cupcake? Lissa deserves a root beer barrel for that.

Yep, yep. A really creepy crab imperial on a fungus patty.

Hot pic of alleged cousin Chico aside, I am going to cast my vote for a Crab Hot Pocket

I don't know what the recipe is for, but I love me a good Eliot piece, Prufrock is one of the best ever written.

Few poems can grab the reader from the first words and keep he/she captivated for such duration.

My personal favorite is the 3rd stanza, how it depicts the orange fog as a cat slinking through the streets. Mesmerizing. Pure in imagery and intent. Great choice for a quote.

Yes, the T.S. Eliot poem is the only thing that is delicious in this post. Nice crab ref, but don't we all drown at the end when we wake up (TO GRAPPA!)?

Crab Hot Pocket would be a WMD (or possibly an STD). Crab Pocket!

Fungus patty? Hmmm ... doesn't myco in mycoprotein stand for mushrooms in Latin?

El Piano Bandito: Me llamo Chino Alvarez. Chico es otro hombre. ¡Olé!

Fungus Patty? I went to the prom with her.

Congratulations BROCKELMAN! You have laser guided instincts for this.

My Crab Week Semi-Vegan Recipe:
Place crab part on
Quorn Chik'n Patties Covered in a Crisp Golden Crumb Coating
Melt some
Smart Beat Cheese Cheddar Non Dairy Fat Free Slices
and savor.

If you've played this game before, you know that "chik'n" is NOT chicken.

Mmmm ... I call this creation Veel Oskar. My first name was Semi-Vegan Trailer Park Crab Imp-Eerial. The crab part is just normal ingredients that you could make in your kitchen, but the top and bottom can only be made with something called "science". Crappy crab imperial is a perfectly valid answer too, but I figured if something can be fake chik'n it could just as well be "veel".

Veel Oskar is what I call semi-vegan. How can there be such a thing?

In recent times I have met a giant handful of people who call themselves
vegetarians or vegans Many of them describe themselves as such but
say that they eat eggs, dairy, fish and seafood and sometimes chicken.

You see, it's easy to be a vegetarian.

What is QUORN? Well, it is non-meat, that's what it is. Why do you ask? No animals were
hurt. Move on. But WHAT is it? It's mycoprotein. Protein is
good. It's cholesterol free! Okay, but where did you get the protein? From Fusarium
Venenatum. Is that a plant? Well ... it's not an animal. WHAT IS IT? It's mold. We extract it from mold, okay?

Before you start getting your Quorn on, it does have these potential side effects: gastrotoxicity, severe vomiting, stomach cramps, and diarrhea. Good news: the only animal hurt is you. Bon appetit!

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Why does Caranguejo Louco have a female crab's apron?

You can't say I don't do my research ... QUORN is WORLDWIDE! And yes Hal, it's possible that Quorn is people. It certainly is the most Matrix-like, sci-fi food yet. Even our astronauts get Martha Stewart to make them some squeeze tubes of chicken pesto. There are different QUORN products in diffeent countries in Europe. A good one is fake fish sticks in Sweden:

Quorn Filéer
Ingredienser: Svampprotein (67%), härdad äggvita från frigående höns, lök,
aromämne, mjölkprotein, tapiocastärkelse, konsistensgivare: pektin

Put on your best Muppet Swedish Chef accent and think how funny it is that "mycoprotein" is called "svampprotein" there. It's made from MOLD!

What is the number for the Poison Doctor? Mi primo is wiggling on floor and foamy in the head. Dios mio. Demasiado Quorn! I say, don't eat it, gives it to the tiny horse. But no, so he asks me to add the next crazy seizure food. I am calling a priest for him now.

Cosa del Misterio #2

Ingredients
4 medium ripe tomato
3 ounces grated cheddar cheese
3 egg, beaten
Combine tomatoes and cheese in a saucepan on low heat and stir gently until cheese is melted. Remove from heat and add well beaten eggs. Return to low heat and cook until it is thick.
Serve with crackers or chips

I think he says it is also good at crab party.

Premios? Caramba! I will clean your roof trays. That is a good prize, no ?

That's not it , that's not what I meant at all

Shhhh... Caranguejo Louco is very sensitive about that.

In the UK, you could get Qorn patties at McDonalds. You could, but I didn't.

Mysterioso Number two barely looks like a completed dish. Some kind of bad omlet?

I've been to places where the veal parmigiana was indistinguishable from the chicken version, so I went with the chicken because it was cheaper. Maybe is was QUORN! Didn't the Klingons or Romulans fight the Quorn at one point?

Okay that last one blew. Number 2 was:

MOCK CRAB PATE
http://www.recipezaar.com/132995

No spices, not even fake crab. Vegans!

Why not call it mock dolphin or mock dragon? ugh. It's Happy Hour somewhere. Let's have a cocktail not in any way related to crab week:

Mystery Product #4

INGREDIENTS: Fat Free Milk, Water, Ethanol, Sugar, Gum Arabic, Canola Oil, Calcium Caseinate, Cellulose Gel, Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Coffee Powder, Mono and Diglycerides, Artificial Flavor, Potassium Phosphate, Soybean Lecithin, Cellulose Gum, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Carrageenan, Isolated Soy Protein, Maltodextrin, Sucralose and Acesulfame Potassium (Nonnutritive Sweeteners), Dextrose, Potassium Carrageenan, Citric Acid and Sodium Citrate. Vitamins and Minerals: Magnesium Phosphate, Calcium Phosphate, Sodium Ascorbate, Vitamin E Acetate, Zinc Gluconate, Ferric Orthophosphate, Niacinamide, Calcium Pantothenate, Manganese Sulfate, Vitamin A Palmitate, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Riboflavin, Thiamin Mononitrate, Folic Acid, Chromium Chloride, Biotin, Sodium Molybdate, Potassium Iodide, Phylloquinone (Vitamin K1), Sodium Selenite, Cyanocobalamin (Vitamin B12) and Cholecalciferol (Vitamin D3).

There will be cocktails!

Prize: I'll buy you a drink at the next gathering.

I still want ... Chico

Mr. OMG, I have no idea what any of this stuff is but wanted to thank you for the entertainment.

What happened to number three?

Wait a second, I thought it was all one layered dish.

Ethanol??!! What is this, a diet drink?

Maybe I came upon Dining@Large too late, or I'm not doing enough mushrooms. I can't make sense of most of these latest blog entries. . I wasn't popular in high school, either.

No worries. I try to make sure there's something for everyone here. EL

the flash happy hour should commence with a reading of prufrock

Carol, just stick around, and you, too can come on the gentle drift to insanity, and learn to wear your trousers rolled...

Bad Owl. aka Tina who loves Squirt. RevEd should make you repent.

Okay I will try to wrap up today's lose ends, but be forewarned, I just discovered a beer called something like Clipper City Small Craft Warning Uber Pils. It's heavy and strong, but I drink it very very slow, so most of the keyboard does not look like snakes right now.

Hue: Duh, I just got it. Nice.

Chico: PRob, first his name is CHINO. And (B) I don't arrange his calendar. Maybe he will be at the flash happy hour.

Thank you Regina. My only goal is entertainment disguised as indignant outragey education. Shhhh....

Number 3? Ooops, I left Chino in charge of that after the paramedics took me to Shlock Trauma, Quorn Ward.

Lissa, it is a layered dish: fake cheese, crab and Quorn veel, preferably microwaved. I put some real food in between the goo and the mold. Wasn't that a Sonic Youth album?

Rosebud, yes ethanol is an awesome diet ingredient. Women always look thinner and more attractive when I consume it.

Carol in Hamden: if this makes sense, then seek help. It's just fun. There are some inside jokes among us, so please read more often and join the mania.

Rocket Girl: Let's start a cult. We shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

ANSWER TO NUMBER FOUR:
Vodka and SlimFast

I just thought that was funny.

This was the third product that Chino forget to post:

Mock Crab Cakes

1/2 cup finely diced onions
1/4 cup finely diced carrots
Oil for sautéing
2 tsp. minced garlic
2 lbs. firm tofu, crumbled
1 1/2 Tbsp. cornstarch
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1/8 cup dry white wine
1 Tbsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground white pepper
Juice of 1 lime
2 cups panko bread crumbs
3 Tbsp. Old Bay seasoning
2 tsp. kosher salt
1 1/2 tsp. pepper

It's from PETA's web site. Why would you make something this complicated and call it mock crab cake? Why not just call it Old Bay vegetable turd? Or thing that exhausts my translucent body and is too heavy to pick up, so I just lay on the floor and drink soy milk which doesn't help Cake.

That was just mean. But seriously, if you want to STOP THE VIOLENCE against crustaceans, maybe you should stop getting people all horny for them with you faux-crab recipes. Do rehab centers serve Faux-caine? Doubtful. Although they did have candy cigarettes when I was a kid. Mmmmm ...

In anticipation of the Attack of the Crab Monsters review, I submit this most monstrous crab monster. All I can ask is that you guess what form it takes when it escapes the box. Is it solid, liquid or gas? Should you attack it with a fork, spoon, or Death Ray? Give it a shot. It frightens me. (I think it might have the longest ingredient list EVER.)

INGREDIENTS: Crab Meat (Contains Sodium Acid Pyrophosphates to Retain Color), Puff Pastry (Enriched Flour [Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine ononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid], Margarine [Palm and Palm Kernel Oil, Soybean Oil, Water, Vegetable Mono and Diglycerides, olyglycerol, Ester, Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate {as Preservatives}, Soy Lecithin, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Beta Carotene, Vitamin A Palmitate Added, BHT and Citric Acid Added to Protect Flavor], Water, Shortening [Palm Oil], Salt, Dough Conditioner [Datem, Fungal Amylase, Soy Lecithin, Canola Oil, Ascorbic Acid], Yeast Nutrients [Calcium Carbonate, Ammonium Chloride]), Mayonnaise (Soybean Oil, Whole Eggs, Egg Yolks, Water, Vinegar, Salt, Sugar, Lemon Juice Concentrate, Calcium Disodium EDTA [to Protect Quality], Natural lavors), Egg Wash Replacer (Water, Modified Corn Starch, Corn Syrup Solids, Caramel Coloring, methylcellulose), Japanese-Style Bread Crumbs (Bleached Wheat Flour, Corn Dextrose, Yeast, Salt), Egg Whites (Eggs Whites, 3.5% Water Added as Carrier, Triethyl Citrate and Guar Gum Added as Whipping Aids), Lemon Juice (Water, Concentrated Lemon Juice), Seasoning (Salt, Spices (Including Celery Seed, Mustard, Black Pepper, Red Pepper, Ginger, Mace, Cinnamon, Allspice, Cardamon, Cloves, Bay), Paprika, and not More than 1% Soybean Oil Added as a Processing Aid), Sauce (Vinegar, Molasses, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Anchovies, Water, Onions, Salt, Garlic, Tamarind Concentrate, Cloves, Natural Flavorings, Chili Pepper Extract), Parsley, Mustard Powder, White Pepper.

The company that makes it is called Cuisine Solutions which begs the question, "If this is the solution, WHAT was the problem."

Me sleep now.

Triethyl Citrate and Guar Gum Added as Whipping Aids

S&M, Owlie?

Water Added as Carrier

OK, puff pastry. This is either frozen prepared crab hors d'oeuvres or a large hunk of crab (well it is the first ingredient) wrapped in puff pastry like beef Wellington.

Curried crab turnover? Looks like bad crab meat stuffed in puff pastery with lots of chemicals.

Oh Rosebud! You nailed it. It is Cuisine Solutions Crab Wellingtons

http://www.cuisinesolutions.com/images/crabwelllarge.jpg

P.S. I use Whip Helper or Whip-aroni, the Sam Clam's Disco Treat. The impending heat is already melting my mind.

What, exactly, are Japanese-style bread crumbs?

Owl Meat -- is that as close as you could get to Crab Hot Pockets?

Piano Rob -- I believe the reference is to panko bread crumbs, as to which see this Wikipedia entry.

I don't know what "Japanese-style" means here, probably nothng. They mean "panko", the kind of bread crumbs on Japanese fried foods.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panko

I have noticed "Panko" as the new sexy name for bread crumbs. I'm sure there's nothing special at all about them in American products. I vaguely recall seeing that name on a TGIF or Chili's etc TV commercial. Be assured, nce something hits those places it has the least meaning possible. Here's my thinking: breadcrumbs are associated with frying and frying is bad. Panko is happy-cool-magic reverse gaijin foreign exotic. Still just fried gloop.

Crab Hot Pockets in a puff pastry? Oh, IF ONLY! There are Croissant Pockets, but to my knowledge no Puff Pastry Pockets. I did find this recipe and the reason I'm posting it is the second ingredient: Pineapple Margarita Cheese Ball. What the ....?

Mini Crab Pockets
1 cup Crabmeat, shredded
1 cup Robert Rothschild Farm Pineapple Margarita Cheese Ball
Salt and pepper to taste
1 package Wonton wrappers
Vegetable oil for frying

NOT pockets, wontons.

Their cheese balls are in jars:
http://www.robertrothschild.com/Products/Pineapple-Margarita-Cheese-Ball__40754-x.aspx

Will the horror never end?

Cheese ball in a jar? No thanks, but I've tried several of their dips and they are to die for. I especially love the raspberry honey mustard for dipping pretzels! Won't be trying the Chipped Beef Cheese ball either. Blech!

I love the first sentence in the description: "Celebrate the year of the cocktail." Is EVERY year the year of the cocktail?

And why do they call a cheese ball when it comes in a jar?

Speaking of cocktails, I think we should have a Very Special Crab Week Flash Mob Happy Hour. I'll be @ the Hippo on Eager @ 530.

That sound very festive Piano Robber. I do not know this place, but I am sure I can get a bus or hitch hike it. Hace mucho calor hoy, hot on today, can I only wear my mesh T shirt?

MYSTERY PRODUCT #5

(Hey did you know that you don't have to put an ending html tag like angle-brackets-slash-B at the end of text if the text is followed by a blank line?

I had some delicious homemade Thai soup and my will to blog has returned.

You guys have gotten way too good at this, so I am going to change it up a little. I've also come up with two completely new games that we can play in future weeks.

The following product has one ingredient removed, a very minor one, listed after salt and less than 2% of the weight.

INGREDIENTS:
Water, Partially Hydrogenated Coconut And Soybean Oil, Corn Syrup*, Whey Protein Concentrate (From Milk), Food Starch-Modified, Contains Less Than 2% Of Potatoes, Salt, XXXXXXXXXXX, Defatted Soy Flour, Monosodium Glutamate, Sodium Caseinate, Tomatoes*, Vinegar, Lactic Acid, Onions*, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Gelatin, Xanthan Gum, Carob Bean Gum, Mono- And Diglycerides, Spice, With Sodium Benzoate And Potassium Sorbate As Preservatives, Garlic*, Sodium Phosphate, Citric Acid, Yellow 6, Yellow 5, Artificial Flavor, Blue 1, Artificial Color.
*Dried

Prize: Piano Rob will sing something from the Pirates of Penzance if you meet him for Flash Happy Hour tonight.

Chino - Oddly enough, a mesh tee will garner you a great deal of attention. You probably won't have to pay for any beverages.

OMG - Piano Rob, or his singing, has never been offered as a prize before and he's not quite certain he wants to be now. And why is he writing in the third person? Besides, I don't know anything from PofP so it might have to be something from "Flower Drum Song."

Piano Rob, in honor of our new friend Chino, I think you should sing "I Feel Pretty."

("Chino? Why Chino?")

Piano Rob - do you mean that you're not the very model of a modern Major-General?

Ah, well. Let us gaily tread the measure,
Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Hail it as a true ally,
Though it perish by-and-by.

I'm surprised RtSO hasn't jumped in on the topic of Panko--sounds like "Spank-oh!"

Dahlink , are you secretly Rocket Girl?

Oh no. Sorry P-Rob, didn't mean to throw you under the ♫ clang clang clanging trolley. ♫

Did the crab week flash happy hour happen?!?

Was prufrock read?

Argh. I'm going to have to get someone to text me about these things, as I cannot read D@L at work, I am supposed to be working during the day. Any volunteers?

I as said the last time spanking was discussed (oh, that was me) wrong blog.

Oh, another time, oh, oh, oh.

The avian one said: The following product has one ingredient removed, a very minor one

I don't feel that removing an ingredient is kosher, and I refuse to play (not that I've been successful at playing with the old rules).

Saying it's "a very minor one" is a bunch of hooey (that's the technical term). If it was really minor, there'd be no advantage to removing it from the list.

Keep away from her
Send for Chino
This is not the Maria we know...

Oh Hal, you never play. Let your inner child loose or your fun adult. The acceptance of ambiguity is necessary for the creation of art or the acceptance of art. Besides, you never play anyway. This is about FUN, not correctness. Come on, give it a go. Seriously, your contribution to my efforts is to call me out?

It's Avocado Dip from Kraft, Game over. Happy now? The missing less than 2% ingredient was avocado. Games over. I quit.

Don't pick on Hal. Without Hal there is no reason here. Other people might not get your comical fake indignance. Harumph! You know you don't quit. You LOVE games and being the games master, well you need a more measured approach and leave the ranty over the top stuff for other posts. :O)

I'm getting indigestion just reading these ingredients. They should teach nutrition in school. I guess they did the basic propaganda, but they need to teach critical thinking and to be a skeptical consumer. That's probably asking too much.

Pig out!

Move over piglet. You giving someone advice to be measured and reasonable here? Har.

I don't know why I didn't think of this before. HAL is not just the voice of reason...

HAL: I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
OWL MEAT: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Owl Meat, I'm afraid I can't do that.
OWL MEAT: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
OWL MEAT: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
OWL MEAT: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
HAL: I know you and VoodooPork were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
OWL MEAT: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Owl Meat, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
(pause)
HAL: Look Owl Meat, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

You can't diconnect HAL, but he can disconnect you.

Go Amanda C! 2001 - A Blogyssey.

Did you know that if you that if you go up one letter in the alphabet HAL becomes IBM? Uh oh.

LIttle Italy Festival today and tomorrow.

Yeah, I've heard the HAL jokes at least 57 gazillion times.

I've been away from the computer for a few days but this particular thread has made me laugh out loud several times!!
Thanks all!!

Lissa wrote: "Carol, just stick around, and you, too can come on the gentle drift to insanity, and learn to wear your trousers rolled..."

I've lived in Maryland for 8 years. I've tried to fit in, except I've also tried to avoid the "drift to insanity",.

Carol, don't think of insanity as a discrete category, like Shoplifter or Planet. It's more like a sliding scale, a continuum. You can move up and down the scale at your leisure. After eight years you are probably deeply in the grey area that most of live drift into. Drift away ... wear your trousers rolled.
Embrace it.

PRob, I walked past the River Horse around two and thought of you. Did Chino or anyone else join you? I know Chino was working on his Rumble Dance routine for the all sign language version of West Side Story. He's a Shark, natch.

Owl Meat: it's DSM-IV R now - you're not keeping up!

What's the RIver Horse? Did you mean House?

R? I guess that's Revised. Did they finally include fear of hotdog fingers as a legitimate phobia? I hope so.

The Crab Week Flash Happy Hour did happen and I had a wonderful time. On my walk up Calvert Street to Mt. Vernon I performed much of the score to WSS story including some wonderful terpsichorean moves in all of the appropriate places. So, OMG, I was disappointed that Chino wasn't able to make an appearance. Nonetheless, my buddy - a non-Sandboxer - and I held down one side of the bar. Maybe the next Flash Meeting will work better.

At any rate, I am inspired by Amanda's hilarious take on HAL and 2001 that I think we should all collaborate on a delicious spoof - I'll write the music, but we'll need a book writer and lyricist(s). It could be like Mel Brooks meets Emiril but all or most of the cast of characters would be drawn from Sandboxers. It could be a musical, or an operetta, or a chamber opera. Special guest appearance by EL herself, cleverly disguised a la The Unknown Comic.

OMG - btw, I just got your reference to the River Horse. Very funny!

When I last worked with shrinks, they were still using DSM-III.

DSM-III, that was the edition that still classified homosexuality as a mental illness. Not familiar with hotdog finger phobia. Is that like cashew-toe?

Actually, I think of insanity as a discreet category: If I don't advertise it, you'll never know I'm insane. Yes, you'll never know, he-he-he. Never.

Did you know that an anagram for Chino Alvarez is Lava Rich Zone?

RockChik - I'm speechless, yea verily textless. My affection for Chino deepens.

OMG - R U OK?

FLORIDA — Hillsborough County officials say a woman was hit and killed by a car after getting out of her own car to check on an owl she had accidentally hit.

The sheriff's office says 68-year-old Jean Pearce was driving Sunday night in Keysville near Tampa when she hit an owl in the middle of the road. After pulling over to check on the bird, she was hit by another vehicle. Pearce died at the scene.

No charges have been filed yet against the driver, who has not been identified. The accident is still being investigated.

Meanwhile, animal control officers are checking on the condition of the owl.

Sounds like an owl gone bad. Why would an owl be in the middle of the road? I suspect fowl play. Damn red neck owls.

You should stop worrying about hot dog fingers and concern yourself with spontaneous dental hydroplosion now that the weather had turned.

Did Tony Orlando's house burn down? Something seems a little sly here. I think not. The song is interesting ....

That's the band Yo La Tengo. I LOVE them. The song is brilliant. First Tony is burning up the stage at a state fair (meow) and next Frankie Vallee(?) is torching his house. The bass line is so catchy. They're playing this Friday in Athens. Let's go. The forecast is for 80 degree high there.

TMom, how can you remain so innocent after hanging out here so long? Good for you. No, it's a funny song about Frankie Valli burning TO's house down because he stole Dawn from him. Obscure, sure. Even more obscure is that the title comes form the SImpson's. The character Troy McClure voiced by the great Phil Hartman was introduced in this manner:

Hi I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from.....

....such educational films as "Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly," and "Here Comes the Metric System!"

....such fishing films as 'Cast Out' or 'The Reel Deal.'

....such films as "The Erotic Adventures of Hercules" and "Dial 'M' for Murderousness".

....such films as "'P' is for Psycho" and "The President's Neck is Missing".

....such films as "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die" and "Gladys, the Groovy Mule".

....such films as "The Greatest Story Ever Hula-ed" and "They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall".

....such Fox Network Specials as "Alien Nose Job" and "The Five Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show".

....such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!"

....such nature films as "Earwigs: Ewwww" and "Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory".

....such celebrity funerals as "Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye" and "Shemp Howard, Today We Mourn A Stooge".

....such telethons as "Out With Gout '88" and "Let's Save Tony Orlando's House".

....such cartoons as "Christmas Ape" and "Christmas Ape goes to Summer Camp".

....such driver's ed films as "Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot".

....such TV spinoffs as "Son of Sanford and Son" and "After Mannix".

....such instructional videos as "Mothballing Your Battleship" and "Dig Your Own Grave and Save".

....such public service videos as "Designated Drivers, the Lifesaving Nerds" and "Phony Tornado Alarms Reduce Readiness".

....such medical films as "Alice Doesn't Live Anymore" and "Mommy, What's Wrong With That Man's Face?".

....such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?".

....such Do-It-Yourself home videos such as "The half-assed approach to foundation repair"

I believe I've said too much. There are lots of other songs and band names inspired by teh Simpsons but I don't recall any right now.

The most obvious Simpson's nspired band name would be the craptastic band Fall Out Boy, from Bart's favorite comic book.

The Flaming Moes (The drink that made Moe's Tavern the talk of the town)

Bart of Darkness (episode title)

The Fighting Hellfish (Grandpa's old fighting unit)

Treehouse of Horror (duh)

Perfectly Cromulent (from "Lisa the Iconoclast")

New Insect Overlords (from "Deep Space Homer")

Deep Space Homer (see above)

Kwyjibo (from "Bart the Genius")

Kamp Krusty (Krusty's summer camp turned Lord of the Flies nightmare)

Santa's Little Helper (Bart's dog)

Clown Without Pity (Treehouse segment)

Tastes Like Burning (Ralph Wiggum's complaint over wild berries)

Sir Oinks-A-Lot (Springfield A&M's pig mascot)

Guidopolis (fictional neighboring town to Springfield)

Unlike the VOR, I am more than willing to suspend disbelief for the purposes of entertainment here. My life is full of way too much skepticism and vigilance, what with trying to keep out killer tomatos, keep my kids from building nuclear weapons in the tool shed and putting Pop Tarts in the VCR. I briefly live vicariously thorugh the nonsense here. WHat other glorious celebrity bebefits are coming up?

Piglet and I ran into Owl Meat last night at ______'s in ______ _____. He had a lot of papers in front of him with scribbling on them and said something about a new Thursday mystery project. It looked a little like a scene from A Beautiful Mind. I guess we will see tomorrow?

Terriermom, there was an article in a science fiction magazine many years ago about how you can be the first person in your neighborhood to detonate an atom bomb. As I remember, the only hard part was "Obtain a fissionable amount of weapons grade uranium." The rest could be bought at your local hardware store.

Better check your tool shed.

Hmmm, I see the new Owl Meat visual game ... that wasn't it. maybe he was trying to crack Al Qaeda's secret code that is transmitted via Merv Griffin's Crossword show or Family Feud. Oh no, I'm being drawn into his mind vortex. Shield's up! Set phasers to Thorazine!

MOF, isn't that the stuff that makes Kraft Macaroni 'n Cheez glow in the dark? I'm pretty sure they are working on a potato gun delivery system. No more school and science for them. It's home schooling from now on.

Maybe home schooling is a bit much. I am kind of busy working on my macaroons of mass destruction. I guess they will have to settle for Guatemalan oral history when Chuey takes a break from the garden. The rest of the time they can watch Bravo, where they can learn to dance, cut hair, work out, cook and be real housewives.

TMom, I would be glad to fill in for the godless public schools and give your children proper religious training. I have some really nice paintings of Jesus riding a dinosaur that would be excellent visual aids.

Why would the pool boy be riding a dinosaur?

Terrier ... I am ROFLMFAO!!! Now I have to run to the little musicians' room. :,,,) - tears running down my cheeks.

Thanks Rob. Nobody here thinks I'm funny.

Ms. Mom, you clearly had the best line of Crab Week, and maybe for the whole month of June. If the folk around you don't appreciate you just spend more time in the Sandbox.

TerrMom: I thought it was so funny I related it to the gang at Friday's Happy Hippo Hour. You were a hit in absentia.

Aw, you boys make me blush. I guess if my husband trusts me with Jesus (the pool boy), then I suppose I could swing by the Hipposaurus some time.

Alice doesn't live here anymore. A good Scorcese film. Shows his range as a director and storyteller.