Shallow Thought Wednesday
Multimedia Editor and Resident Cheeseburger, Wings and Gas Station Food Expert John Lindner continually surprises me. First of all, he's convinced he had cholera last week when he missed his deadline. I find that unlikely. My guess is too much gas station sushi, as you know.
In any case, in this week's edition of Shallow Thought Wednesday, he dips into the paranormal: ...
In an eerie twist on the mystery of socks disappearing in the dryer, a spoon recently materialized in our flatware drawer. No one brought it in. No one knows whence it came. It just showed up.
Careful examination revealed that it’s no mere spoon. It is a spoon with a past, a history revealed by the name engraved on its handle: Fred Harvey.
Turns out, Harvey was a foodie of no meager renown. More on him here.
How the "hell" his spoon got into our drawer remains a curiosity. One conjecture has it that our house is connected however tenuously to the rail business via which Harvey made a fortune. It’s a 1918 farmhouse believed by some to have been a "Sears house" conveyed to the area by train.
Add to that the fact that our house is haunted by a glassware poltergeist and you can see that the spoon’s appearance is most likely the work of paranormal kitchen agents.
Some Wednesday, I shall work up the courage to discuss the glassware poltergeist. The little bastard breaks rims off glassware. Uncanny accurate breaks, always about three quarters of an inch from the rim down.
If you possess any information on dealing with phenomena like this, please contact me immediately, as we’ve had numerous self-styled experts lead us down twisted paths to heartbreak in the hopes of purging our grounds of the destructive imp.
(Photo courtesy of Bonnie Lindner)