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May 23, 2008

How to fix any technical problem with the blog

Just in case you don't think we have a crack IT staff here on the premises of The Sun, let me share with you the response I got from a certain multimedia editor when the rail (that's the technical term for the right half of my blog's page, I learned yesterday) disappeared, and I sent out an hysterical e-mail to everyone who could possibly help: ...

Wave some bleached chicken bones (thigh bones work best) over your monitor while chanting "I love my software, I love my software, I love my software....."

Why do I think they don't take me seriously anymore? 

Posted by Elizabeth Large at 2:10 PM | | Comments (10)


What is the thing on the left called?

Elizabeth's post? EL

ROFL - And all along I've been using a ham bone.

From now on, when this unnamed person(s) asks for a restaurant suggestion, send them to the biggest dive you can think of. That'll fix them...

Why does it not surprise me that Mr. Show Biz would use a ham bone?

Oh, and tell that certain multimedia editor to be careful or the Sandbox will take up a collection, hire a 15-year old, hack the blogware and get it fixed ourselves.

No, your post is in the middle. The column on the left that lists all the Sun's areas.

I think Mr. Pork is referring to the paper index (although if the right side is a rail who knows what the pencil-neck geeks in the software cave call it. Aunt Lucy, maybe?) The middle ground is yours (well you graciously share it with us.)

I have a plastic magic wand at work, but going for a coffee break usually works better.

Hey, the stunt with the chicken bone works better than the three hour phone conversations I have had with Bombay and Bangalore in the past six months.

R(tSO): don't tease. If you know such a 15-year-old who can hack the blogware, please send me his name, his top three hacks, his pizza to slurpee ratio, and phone numbers of nine of his best friends. I won't need a collection. With ten of those guys I can start my own dotcom.
(btw: Federal Hill Jim: the bleach is the real trick. It neutralizes non-agrostatic particles found along bone and gristle. With those particles rendered inert, the energy field created by the waving of the bones (read: calcium) is free to re-align the binary patterns in the rows and columns of silicon arrays. Certainly, it's not 100 percent reliable. But if it worked perfectly every time, think what would happen to the price of chicken thighs.)

Dear certain multimedia editor:
Welcome to the sand box. You should fit in very well here.

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About this blog
Richard Gorelick was appointed The Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic in September 2010. Before joining the paper staff fulltime, he contributed freelance criticism and features articles about food to area and regional publications. Along the way, he dispatched for short-distance trucking companies, shilled for cultural non-profits, and assisted in cognitive neurology research – never the subject, always the control.

He takes restaurants seriously but not himself, and his favorite restaurant is the one you love, too.

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