13 ways of looking at a plate of pasta
So far no shallow thoughts have appeared in my inbox, so I'm going to have to assume that Multimedia Editor and Resident Cheeseburger and Wings Expert John Lindner is still digesting his gas station food and sleeping in this morning. Not to despair. Voodoo Pork has been obsessing about pasta, and has decided to share his observations with us: ...
1) Ever see someone break spaghetti in half before boiling? Why? It makes it impossible to get a good twirl on.
2) People who order spaghetti or linguini and cut it up into tiny pieces. Grrrr....
3) Using a spoon to twirl long pasta. Lame. See #10.
4) People who grab some spaghetti onto their fork and then use their knife to wrap the rest around their fork to create an unholy mess.
5) Angel hair (capellini) - it rarely comes out right in restaurants. It should be served in small fresh portions not a big lump.
6) Some people call every type of pasta "macaroni." Is this a local thing? I know some people who grew up in Little Italy do that.
7) I met Italian-Americans in Chicago who call all sauces gravy. As in, "Do you want some gravy on your macaronl?"
8) Pizza Hut pasta delivered looks disgusting, like pasta dog food.
9) If you ever want to lose weight, eat whole wheat pasta. It's heavy and tastes like cardboard, so your portion size will drop dramatically.
10) Twirling pasta is easy if you use the right technique. Grab a small number of strands (3). Separate from the rest of the pack. Push against the side of the dish and twirl. Occasionally start over. If you do it right you will never get danglers more than the width of the fork.
11) Someone once told me that the proper way to eat spaghetti was to swallow it whole without chewing. Anybody?
12) Say when: Fresh grated cheese on everything Italian in Baltimore! Argggghhhh. Same for pepper. I would prefer that the chef make the dish, not me and the waitron. People act like it's some jackpot of excess that they won.
13) As a poor student, this was my most frequent pasta dish: generic mac n' cheese from a box, with water and olive oil instead of milk and butter and sometimes sliced hotdogs. And ketchup or hot sauce. I didn't want you to think I was a snob.