Okay, here the fallacy in this bright idea: shouldn't the cream cheese be cool/cold. Nuking or toasting will likely turn cream cheese into cream sauce which will then dribble down your front as you speed (ha ha) down the Jones Falls Expressway.

Being a keen observer of the Batter Blaster scene I came across this late breaking info in a Yahoo article that quoted a "This Old House" piece.

http://shopping.yahoo.com/articles/yshoppingarticles/98/wackiest-kitchen-products/

"Projectile Pancakes
Spray the Batter Blaster onto a hot griddle or waffle iron, and the organic dough fries up with what its former-chef manufacturer calls an "airy, beignet-like consistency." The company plans to develop strawberry and apple-cinnamon flavors, and perhaps some cookies and brownies some time in the future. Don't worry – they'll all be Blast-able."

I also saw these today in a local supermarket. I grew up in New York, a few blocks from a bagel bakery. I have been eating good bagels for more than half a century. These are an abomination. Looking at the photo, it seems to be a tubular roll stuffed with what must be a cream cheese substitute, NOT the real thing.

You're absolutely right RtSO, the cream cheese should be cold - and plentiful.

P.S. I saw then in a Food Lion by the new Costco in Howard County.

I'm sure that the esteemed food scientists at Kraft have thought of everything for us poor overworked and time-pressed Americans. After all, it would be downright un-American to present a wonderful new idea without thinking of all those pesky details. I mean, someone might sue if they messed up their dress shirt or workclothes by getting cream cheese sauce on it :-)

That's disgusting on multiple levels. For starters, microwaving a "bagel"? Ewww!!!!!

I'm sorry, but does Kraft make any thing decent?

Any company that could be responsible for the worst food product of all time, Miracle Whip, really shouldn't be trusted with anything edible.

It occurs to me that the sandbox makes a remarkably poor test market for the latest and greatest convenience foods. I'm betting there is very little wine-in-a-box ('cause hey, it use to be stored in barrels, with a tap) filling members' frigs. And dare I bring up (sing it with me) Hot Pockets!

In a perfect world these brain-dead morons would be reading the scorn and ridicule the sandbox membership rightly heaps upon them and they then retire to a mountain top monastery or nunnery, to live out their miserable existence eating various soy products that pretend to be real food. It only seems fair.

BTW, Ms. Susan, your's is a wonderful, wicked and nasty mind. The sandbox needs more like it.

hi I'm new

Welcome! I knew Bagel-fuls would draw you in :-) EL

I'm betting there is very little wine-in-a-box ... filling members' frigs

Wrong! We just finished "testing" a 3-L Black Box Chardonnay which wasn't bad. Wine in a box doesn't pretend to anything other than what it is -- "vin ordinaire." We've been testing brands because it is lighter in weight, and easier & safer to carry than bottles to take on a cruise. And I hear that the Target wines [available here in Florida] are pretty good, too. They're next.

Why are we getting more and more processed foods?? Since when was a bagel and cream cheese HIGH maintenance?

A very good question, but the answer must be because they think we'll buy it. EL

There's a coupon for these things in the Sunday Sun--they come in five flavors including chive. Yuck.

OK, still haven't gotten any volunteers to try them and give us a mini-review. And now with the coupon...EL

RoCK wrote: I'm sorry, but does Kraft make any thing decent?

Apropos to this discussion, Kraft makes Philadelphia Cream Cheese, which I seriously doubt they use in these things. I saw the coupon too, but I wouldn't buy them if they were free!

If you look at the photo, it says "Philadelphia" in little teeny letters. EL

Philly Cream Cheese: the exception that proves the rule that Kraft is evil.

Meghan/EL said:

Why are we getting more and more processed foods?? Since when was a bagel and cream cheese HIGH maintenance?

A very good question, but the answer must be because they think we'll buy it. EL

It's the same reason why we have such wonderful products as refrigerated cookie dough with the individual cookies already broken apart, pre-sliced cheese, and a relic from my childhood (gaped at, never purchased), Goober Grape - peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. We really are just that lazy. God bless America.

Philly Cream Cheese: the exception that proves the rule that Kraft is evil.

I'd be very surprised if Philadelphia Cream Cheese didn't originally have its own identity, and was later assimilated by Kraft.

From Wikipedia:

According to food manufacturer Kraft:

Cream cheese originated in the United States in 1872 when a dairyman in Chester, New York, developed a 'richer cheese than ever before,' made from cream as well as whole milk. Then in 1880, a New York cheese distributor, A. L. Reynolds, first began distributing cream cheese wrapped in tin-foil wrappers, calling it Philadelphia Brand....The name "Philadelphia Brand cream cheese" was adopted by Reynolds for the product because at that time, top-quality food products often originated in or were associated with the city, and were often referred to as being "Philadelphia quality."

Dr. Cantaloupe wrote:
"and a relic from my childhood (gaped at, never purchased), Goober Grape - peanut butter and jelly in the same jar"

Goober Grape was the only peanut butter and jelly I would eat when I was little. I don't know why and I can't bring myself to try it now. I'm not sure if I'm worried it will be gross or that it will be delicious.

Since when was a bagel and cream cheese HIGH maintenance?

Apparently since 2003, according to this article. In 2003, Kraft had launched Philadelphia To Go, a refrigerated package containing a bagel, a tub of cream cheese, and a plastic knife. The product bombed, apparently because it was too hard to expect customers to use the knife to spread the cream cheese on the bagel, hence the development of Bagel-fuls.

No doubt the target audience for Bagel-fuls will be the same people who buy Smuckers Uncrustables because they can't make PB&J sandwiches and cut off the crusts on their own.

I, also, must speak up in defensive of boxed wines-at least some of them. Yes, they are hit and miss and are much dependent on personal taste- like nearly all food. The advantage of being able to pour myself just one glass without worrying about the bottle going bad is worth testing various boxes for. Husband and I have had good luck with the "Black Box" brand, esp with Shirazes.

Hmpstd-great story.

Oh c'mon, Sandboxers...you HAD to have seen this coming. Surely nothing's easier than a PBJ sandwich, yet Smuckers makes FROZEN crustless PBJ sandwiches. I ask you, is anything more moronic?!

Surely nothing's easier than a PBJ sandwich, yet Smuckers makes FROZEN crustless PBJ sandwiches. I ask you, is anything more moronic?!

This begs the answer: yes there is - the people who buy it.

... is anything more moronic?!

As a wise friend once said to me, 'Never give away first prize.' You only have to review our discussion of convenience foods to know there are many more moronic ideas out there that will make these seem positively reasonable. Give it a couple of weeks. Something more moronic is sure to come to the attention of the sandbox. In fact, I am certain a member of th sandbox is, at this moment, sitting with twitching fingers, trying to decide if she or he should type a submission on the next moronic food stuff.

You can read a defense of the boxed wine by Shallow Thought Wed.'s John Lindner here.

I would welcome any wine-in-a-box recommendations ... I found one Cabernet I liked at Beltway Liquors and then they stopped carrying it.

Even more moronic then the "convenience" foods are the moronic cooking appliances out there. My favorites are the hot dog cooker and the egg cooker.

How about this for a moronic cooking appliance.

RtSO said: "I'm betting there is very little wine-in-a-box ('cause hey, it use to be stored in barrels, with a tap) filling members' frigs." We occasionally do buy wine in a box, usually whites, and some of them are OK. Just because it comes in a bottle doesn't necessarily mean that a wine is better quality. We do blind tastings at dinner parties and more often than not a modestly priced wine comes out on top.

Point me towards a good claret (Hess Cabernet Sauvignon is an example of the quality I'm talking about) and I'll buy it. Although, drinking 4 bottles in a month is probably more than I can finish.

rosebud! Thanks so much! What a hilarious product--it gave me my first good laugh of the day. And I love that it's called "Back to Basics." I'm still laughing. Really. It's absolutely hysterical. Actually I think I want one--just because it looks so great. When I have my next houseguests I'm going to have that toast n' eggorama set up right next to my cans of Batter Blaster for everyone's morning surprise. Add some high octane breakfast cocktails and whoa---JUMP BACK JACK.

chez G, are you sure you didn't rip that off of a script for Semi-Homemade Cooking?

Was at Wegman's this afternoon and there in one of the freezer units on the aisle was a display of Bagel-fuls. Unfortunately there was no price on the shelf and no employee around to ask.

chez G, that is just too funny!!

sometimes "moronic" is what we find most pleasing... w/ a twist, I used to prepare "Fried PBJ " on special until the demand got so high I had to put it on regular. Ps. (rough chop pistachio butter, layered on strawberries sauteed w/ lemon vodka & blk pepper). What's the flavor profile difference btwn "steak au poivre" and a well done cheese steak sub?

Hmm ... I read through all of the posts on this thread and no one volunteered to try the product. I'll do it if I can find the coupon and where to buy it.

You are our hero. EL

I finally managed to track down a box of Bagel-fuls last night (at a Wal-mart, no less) for a net price of $0.82 ($1.82 less the $1 coupon that Dahlink mentioned). Some online articles have claimed that it's advisable to let them thaw before toasting (rather than nuking them straight from the freezer), so the grand taste test will have to wait for Wednesday at the earliest.

hmpstd - I humbly transfer EL's "you are our hero" designation to you. And we all await your review on the blog - not to mention other adventures of Bagel Pockets ... oops, Bagel-fuls ... at Saturday's party.

Are you going to taste the product using both the package directions and the suggested thawing?

Piano Rob -- believe it or not, the package actually has four "cooking" options, namely: (1) nuke frozen product for 20 seconds, (2) nuke thawed product for 10 seconds, (3) toast thawed product at medium toaster setting, and (4) eat thawed product straight from the fridge. As I'm thawing the entire 4-count box, (1) is moot, and, besides, it's bound to be just like (2).

In the interests of science, I'll probably toast one (2.5-oz) portion, nuke one portion, and try one portion "raw" (though I may wind up nuking what remain of that portion after one bite). The preferred "cooking" method will be used for the remaining portion.

hmpstd: How very scientific of you! My only concern is placing the bread-stick shaped product in a conventional toaster - or are you told to use a toaster oven? My bet is that your preference will be #4 if only because hot cream cheese won't be pleasant. Good luck.

The great Bagel-fuls taste test went off this morning. (This was the "Original" variety, with no added flavors other than the Philly.)

For the first portion, I used option 4, straight from the fridge. Yuck. After one bite, I went to option 2, and nuked the remainder of that portion for 10 seconds. Yuck, still (10 seconds wasn't enough time). The second portion was subjected to option 3, toasting (note for Piano Rob -- the box advises a wide-slot toaster, but all I have is an ancient toaster oven). Results were somewhat more edible, and I toasted the remaining portions.

Each portion is a 5-inch-long flattened tube, open at both ends. While the cream cheese doesn't liquefy, it does ooze out the other end when you bite in, so I don't see it as being practical for eating in the car during morning rush hour.

Summary: Don't try this at home.

wow i really cannot beleive how bent out of shape you people are over an innovative product that is for people on the go. This is a great product and Great Idea! It seems if you people had it your way their wouldent be anything cool and innovative in the grocery store. If you take the time to actually read the nutrition info, it is not "fake" food its acutally a good choice for a snack or on the go breakfast!

Mr. Macabee, it occurs to me that you would view box o'wine and cheese in a can as good innovations. I send my condolances on the untimely passing of your taste buds. So sad.

Taking up Mr. Macabee's invitation, here's the nutrition info from the Bagel-fuls, followed by the ingredient list:

For each 2.5 oz (71g) serving (4 per box):

Calories: 200
Calories from Fat: 50

Total Fat: 5g / 8% of Daily Value
Saturated Fat: 3g / 15% of Daily Value
Trans Fat: 0g
Cholesterol: 15mg / 5% of Daily Value
Sodium: 200mg / 8% of Daily Value
Total Carbohydrate: 31g / 10% of Daily Value
Dietary Fiber: 2g / 8% of Daily Value
Sugars: 4g
Protein: 7g

Vitamin A: 2% of Daily Value
Vitamin C: 0% of Daily Value
Calcium: 10% of Daily Value
Iron: 10% of Daily Value
Thiamin: 10% of Daily Value
Riboflavin: 10% of Daily Value
Niacin: 10% of Daily Value
Vitamin B6: 10% of Daily Value
Phosphorus: 10% of Daily Value
Magnesium: 10% of Daily Value
Zinc: 10% of Daily Value

Ingredients:

Enriched Wheat Flour (Wheat Flour, Malted Barley Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate [Vitamin B1], Riboflavin [Vitamin B2], Folic Acid), Water, Cream Cheese (Pasteurized Milk and Cream, Salt, Cheese Culture, Stabilizers [Xanthan and/or Carob Bean and/or Guar Gums]), Contains Less Than 2% of Brown Sugar, Sugar, Malted Barley and Corn Extracts, Yeast, Wheat Flour, Salt, Vital Wheat Gluten, Corn Flour, Magnesium Phosphate, Calcium Phosphate, Calcium Carbonate, Thiamin Mononitrate (Vitamin B1), Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Niacin, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride (Vitamin B6), Zinc Oxide, Soybean Oil, Dough Conditioner (Wheat Flour, L-Cysteine, Ascorbic Acid, Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Azodicarbonamide, Calcium Iodate, Calcium Peroxide, Enzymes), Dough Improver (Ammonium Sulfate, Calcium Sulfate, Azodicarbonamide)

Wow, hmpstd--I am impressed by your response. "Dough Improver "--wonder if that would do anything for my bank account?

I have to report that as I was checking out of Wegman's this afternoon, the woman behind me was putting four boxes of Bagel-fuls on the track. I could see strawberry but didn't want to stare too much. She might have had one of each variety. Somebody likes these!

for our family, it winds up being cheaper to buy the bagels and cream cheese in one. i take them from the freezer, nuke 25 sec, then toast, and theyre a pretty good subsitute.

erin, You can buy a dozen bagels at a bagel shop, take them home and freeze them separately. The cost will be not much more than a box or two of the Bagelfuls. Then, when your family wants bagels you take the quantity you need out, nuke 'em, toast 'em, spread the amount of real cream cheese (from a block, not a tub) you want and enjoy a real bagel with cool, not runny, cream cheese. You can even serve any smaller children half a bagel, or even put other things than cream cheese on them. There are so many different kinds of bagels being made that you can have them healthy (whole wheat or power bagel), sinful (cinnamon or chocolate), or savory (onion or garlic). I, personally, prefer the Supreme or Everything bagel.

Hey now... I think its a neat idea... the ingredients, and nutritional facts don't look nearly as bad as 1/2 the slop you'll find in the freezer section. If ya don't like it, its as simple as don't buy it.... but some people do actually like "convenience" food.... and how many of you drink soda? Ever have popcorn once in a while? You'd be surprised at all the crap thats in just about everything now a days.

I am a diabetic and I love bagels and cream cheese. I recently purchased a box of the original and enjoyed them but my preference is wheat and I am unable to find them in the grocery stores in my area. The other three kinds are available but I usually don't eat white bread and prefer wheat. One bagel-ful is a perfect size and carb count for breakfast for me. If you could advise where in my area I might purchase the wheat bagel-fuls, I would love to try them. Thank you so much.

You know exacthy who their targeting. lazy lowlife teenagers whe think they dont have the time to cook a decent meal all they think they have time to do is take something out of thr freezer pop it in the micro and nuck the hell out of it. I vote boycott. let's not buy this garbage for our children or for our selves!

nuck the hell out of it??????

RayRay, don't be snarky. We all know what Benny boy meant to say - nyuck the hell out of it.

sean,
LOL

sean, classic!