Typing of other food writings, has anyone seen "Baltimore Eats"? Oh man, it is bad. Someone needs to do some drive by editing of that magazine. Every sentence ends with an exclamation mark.

They salad had arugula!

I ordered the chicken! And I got it roasted!

The chef is from Altoona!

Our server's name was Brad!

I read your post Rob! I agree!!!! It's 10:38!!! 2+2=4!!! :)

Here's what I noticed in one tiny section of their web page:
-- Don't miss a single issue!
-- ... you'll receive the very next issue as soon as it's off the press!
-- Don't be left out!
-- You can create your listing on baltimore eats.com RIGHT NOW! (Caps, bold & exclamation. I've seen Nazis be less emphatic. Keep some in reserve sister.)
-- I hope you enjoy reading baltimore eats magazine as much as we enjoy creating it! - Celeste Corsaro, Marketing Director-- Wine Talk - Keep it simple!
-- Brussels Sprouts are GOOD!
(Honestly, I'm a little cranky already but that just makes me want to punch somebody in the face. Hire a freakin' editor already.)

I'll bet you a giant bottle of Advil that all those Baltimore Eats sentences were written by a woman! And before you jump all over me gammy knee, you know I'm right. Many women use the exclamation point as what I call an enthusiasm point. Haven't we all seen this xeroxed announcement at the office on colored paper: CAKE IN THE BREAK ROOM AT LUNCH!!! (preferably in a font composed entirely of clowns.) That's whoopee, office enthusiasm. Now if Samuel L. Jackson looked you in the eye and said, "Cake in the break room at lunch!" an exclamation point might well be deserved because your life probably depends on it. But unless you see the office cake lady running through the hall flailing a bloody knife above her head, probably nothing she announces on colored paper deserves an exclamation point. I've noticed TerrierMom does it a lot and this from Rosebud: Happy National Grammar Day!!! True, it's hard to tell if that was faux enthusiasm, but earnest statements followed by !!! are usually written by women.

Don't get all crazy on me; I love women. In fact, I just declared it Take Your Daughter to the Wine Bar Day. Now I need a beaker and her learner's permit, because Daddy's not driving home from this science experiment!

You are just cranky today because your wife is funnier than you! And don't pick on Terrier Mom and Rosebud! They are scarier than you and they will come after you with a cake knife!

Nice observation RoCK! I looked at their web page! It's crazy! I think a maniac is editing it!

Want to join in the madness? Here's a sample of excitedness bordering on emotional instablity:

FEBRUARY Wine & Food Events Calendar

Tell them you saw it on BaltimoreEats.com!

FARMERS' MARKETS
Support our local growers and eat smart!

SATURDAY
32d Street - Waverly Market
YEAR ROUND!

Make certain YOU are included!

--------------------------------------------------

That just SCARES me!!!!

I collected some recent article titles from Bipolar Eats for you:

--------------------------------------------------
A REASON FOR THE SEASON - Brussels Sprouts are GOOD!
WINE TALK - Keep It Simple!
A REASON FOR THE SEASON - Just nuts about butternut!
OUR COMMON TABLE - John Shields - Coffee maven goes LOCAL!
OUR COMMON TABLE - John Shields - Everybody get growing!
BEHIND THE STICK - May is Preakness Time!
BEHIND THE STICK - Everybody's IRISH!
WINE TALK - Stan Blinden loses it for sherry & anchovies!
CHOCOLATE!
OUR COMMON TABLE Community Supported Agriculture - A Win-Win Deal!
BEHIND THE STICK - Lushcious chocolate martinis!
BEHIND THE STICK - Wake Up to Grappa!
GET IN THE SPIRIT!
OUR COMMON TABLE - Welcome back!
WINE TALK- I'm not age-worthy!
OUR COMMON TABLE - Follow the $$!
WINE TALK - PBA may be harmful to your health!
AFTER DINNER -Dance!
Understanding Organic - what it means, what it doesn't mean!
Keep up with all the exciting things going on in Baltimore and here at Baltimore eats!

You are making this up.

Can't make this stuff up.

http://www.baltimoreeats.com/archives/issue_archive_home2.html

Enjoy!
Read it!
NOW!!!

"and this from Rosebud: Happy National Grammar Day!!! True, it's hard to tell if that was faux enthusiasm, but earnest statements followed by !!! are usually written by women."

For the record, it was faux enthusiasm, you old curmudgeon!!

But seriously, it is an interesting observation. If we do use more !!!, it may be because we learned early on that the only way you men will listen to us is if we "project" and the ! is the written form of that projecting.

Ducking and covering and running away...

Rosebud: "You men"??? HDY (how dare you) lump us all together!!! And to think I have always - or, usually - sided with you (and TerrierMom) in the war of opinions, even when I couldn't come up with some pithy retort to add to the fray.

I'll get over it. It's the curse of the p****s (sorry, EL, I didn't know if I could/should use the word) to be scorned by the females - so I've learned. And I just know I'm going to have my cojones trampled because of this post.

Do you think any of us would be as witty/creative/whatever if we met in person?

Totally agree Rosebud. Curmudgeon? You bet. I've actually thought about this a little and I do think it's a society thing, part of how we brainwash, I mean socialize, girls. Now Megan dear, find Daddy's keys so we can work on your science fair project before Mommy comes home.

Valium in the break room this afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought I might add a little fact to my opinion. I did a quick survery of the tiny articles in BALTIMORE EATS!!!! for the number of exclamation points per article (sex of author may be inferred).

The Story of Coffee by Tamar Jacobs 5!

Considering...the Ethics of Food -bonnie north 7!

WINE TALK with Stan Bliden 3!

DATELINE: Italia - Mama Mia! That's a spicy meatball! by John Shields 6!

BEHIND THE STICK - with Patrick McCormick 9!
Apples, cinnamon, nutmeg...Bourbon, Calvados, Apple Jack!

IN THE KITCHEN with Chef Carlo Vignotto at LA TAVOLA
by Bonnie North 9!

OUR COMMON TABLE John Shields
Have we lost our minds? [yes: 11!]

In contrast, I searched EL's review of RA, a place that seems to simply scream out in general, for exclamation points and found none.

Huzzah!

Even the most blatant hate speech communicates best with only the minimum punctuation.

Let grammar be the vehicle of your love.

I've never heard of Baltimore Eats until now. I never thought that a little punctuation mark can bring publicity for a website.

And yes, as a male, nagging-like "projections" doesn't get my attention either.

Who was it that said "Using an exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke"?

Too lazy to Google.

I am really worried about the time several of your contributors seem to have on their hands!

'twas me Zelda.

I think the baltimore eats (nice touch - no caps, that's how they sneak up on you) stories are particularly funny if you yell them with a German accent. Wake Up to Grappa! is particularly bone chilling. Grammar is hot boys.

Mr. Alan: This is trivial. Stay in the sandbox (or look back for a month or so) and you will see time wasting raised to an Olympic Sport.

OMG's reference to Zelda reminds that Zelda FitzGerald used to murmur to people she was meeting something along the lines of "I hope you die in the golden ring." No one ever reacted.

dahlink, your last post sounds intriguing but insane. Is there more to it?

Rokchik, Zelda Fitzgerald was insane.

Thank you, Hal--my point exactly. And I assume you know all about her Baltimore connections.

And I assume you know all about her Baltimore connections.

They lived in Bolton Hill if I'm not mistaken.

F. Scott Fitzgerald published Tender is the Night from a home shared with Zelda Fitzgerald on Park Avenue in the Thirties.

robert of cross keys...can you find yourself anew hobby? Baltimore Eats is a great mag and I love to read it...although if I had no life, I may be counting exclamation points! I love this and I think it ads a lot to Bmore and what we have going on here! Any of you other messes should get a clue, too! I love what their doing even if there are a few (!!!!!!!!!) Not many people can pull off what they are doing! I Love IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woohoo!!!!!

I'll bet uponit loves R. Ray, too!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm in the middle of Laura's new book, Another Thing to Fall, and am really loving it. Have you read it yet, Dahlink?

Not many people can do what they are doing? All you need is a desktop publishing program and a macro that inserts and exclamation mark at the end of each sentence.

Who is R. Ray?

R. Ray is the diva of the Food Network and all things wrong with a cooking show: Rachel Ray. (Remember she just did a special on cooking dog food.)

Counting exclamation points; copying and pasting --- or even more time-consuming: re-typing --- article titles; and spending countless minutes blogging about a publication you appear to love to hate evidences an incredible investment of time actually reading it. Such petty, tasteless behavior (pun intentional, so feel free to rip away) on trivia such as punctuation style in your contrived, self-congratulatory writing style smacks more of personal vendetta than it does substantive literary commentary. I suggest you might find critique of actual content a worthy target for your critique. However, you have not launched an attack on that front --- maybe that's because the magazine's content is, simply put: excellent. Whatever the intent of your jejune banter, it devalues Elizabeth's public forum, rendering its current content naught but juvenile. Air your venomous insipidity elsewhere: possibly your own blog --- or consider the effort it takes to launch a magazine or be self-employed. Until you can find an inventive, worthwhile, creative outlet, what you really need to do is get back to your day job --- or, better yet, take up knitting: you can count stitches instead of exclamation points.

Well, it looks like someone got a "Word a Day" calendar for Christmas.

Oh... and one more thing: there is nary a negative word written in the pages of Baltimore Eats. What other magazine, newspaper or TV show can you say that about? The world at large could use a few more publications that accentuate nothing but the positive about peoples' talents and efforts. Present company appears to be the very demographic that proves "negativity sells".

Hi, Rosebud--haven't read Laura' latest yet, but it's on my list!

My goodness! Are our friends uponit and GetReal from Baltimore Eats?

Bravo boys and girls. I think GetReal is a hoax. Defending bad writing with worse writing is funny. Espousing the power of 100 percent positivity with poisonous personal attacks? Great stuff. The byzantine first sentence of GetReal is hilarious. The whole thing is brilliantly constructed to illustrate a myriad of writing sins. Grammar humor ... oh well. Funny stuff guys.

Yeah, I'm guessing they work there or publish it. I like the ridiculously puffed up vocabulary. Quite comical. As for writing that accentuates nothing but the positive? That's called propaganda. No thanks. I also wasn't aware that bad writing was a "style". Aw RoCK, there you go devaluing us again. How come you got the full shot gun blast? I think I was way more obnoxious. I deserve some fancy-word dressing down or I might feel naught but juvenile in my jejune venomous insipidity. You know it was killing the writer not to put any exclamation points in her message, having used ever other excess of style.

Way to beat a dead horse. I still laugh out loud when I think of the exclaimed titles being yelled in a German accent. Wake Up to Grappa! Snell! DANCE!

Back to my knitting blog!

I am sorry that you guys are so miserable. I think it's a shame to have this kind of venom going around. Good for Baltimore Eats. Any talk is good talk. At least they're keeping your attention. Hey! How about leaving the mag on the stand so someone (like me) who likes Eats can read it. Don't pick it up...please!!!!! You're a disgrace.

I think this is all Owl Meat or some other demented person pretending to be GetReal and feelingsorryforu. Come on, "Brussels Sprouts are GOOD!" is funny if you imagine someone screaming it. Maybe tomorrow morning I will yell at Amanda, "Wake Up to Grappa!" Or maybe not.

Not to worry, feelingsorryforu--I won't be picking up any copies. And I have to disagree that "any talk is good talk."

Now I'm ready to ignore this whole issue, and be happy, just as everyone is ignoring Ralph Nader.

Rule #2

And, just for the record, we're not the least bit miserable.

Don't bring me into this silliness. I'm busy working on my Raptors for Nader campaign. These eater apologists will fly away if you don't feed them.

So, there I was, breezing about Baltimore when I noticed this little publication adorning the Whole Foods newstand. Curiously petite and colorful; I was compelled to peruse its contents. Routinely, a fan of the typical, large-venue publications, I was uncertain of what I would find between its cover.
Certainly, a welcomed surprise. I found the work of a group of committed writers who have turned their foci from the mundane, the routine, the violent, the overworked- to provide the curious reader the opportunity to explore the other landscape of topics and certainties that we can depend on in this less than sensitive world.
Good for those, I say, who actually get the fact that people eat, that people are real, and that educated citizens may cooperatively enjoy the essence of local script that highlights the attractions of an authentic and creative Baltimore. If you seek the writings of the WSJ, then read the WSJ; if, in constrast, you desire to explore Baltimore realistically through the lenses of locals, this is certainly your magazine.
To the writers, owners, publishers, whoever you may be, congratulations on delivering a satisfied reader from the austentacious and down-nosing critics who bore me with over editing that's devoid of colloquialisms and character. Write on!

Do you think they're all one person?

Dear Innocentbystander, we are on record here as being forgiving of the occasional typo, but when you write "austentacious" for ostentatious, it makes my teeth hurt. Call me a word snob--I don't care.

So, there I was, breezing about Baltimore when I noticed this little ... The proceeding was a paid political announcement.

I'm guessing, if not a staffer, its someone's mother. No one outside of that pink sky, kittens and bunnies universe could write so voluminously and uninterestingly. I'm also thinking the writer is under medical care for a self-inflicted injury done by not using exclamation points!

wow! This whole blog thing was just brought to my attention. I'm entertained. You guys are funny and your criticism will be taken under advisement. I had nothing to do with any of the above comments. None of my staff wrote them, I don't think...thank you! Oh I had to put an exclamation point in for ole times sake. You guys are trip!!!! Thanks for the negative and positive comments. I thought someone would write something about us somewhere, but never thought it would be about our exclamation points. heheeee!

Celeste! (Sorry, I couldn't resist the exclamation point.) That's an interesting and informative website y'all have. One question: How does "massage therapy and healing arts" fit into the mix?

I think I got a contact high from reading innocentbystander's thing. I like that she has no idea who the writers, owners and publishers are. It's good to know the writers are or have been committed. I wouldn't want my neighborhood full of maniacs screaming "WAKE UP TO GRAPPA!". Since there is no publisher, editor or contact information on the web site, I would guess that's it's the vanity project of one person and her cats.

I was giving piggyback rides to orphans on my way to the teddy bears' picnic and lo and behold I stumbled upon a glorious beacon of oh look a unicorn why do rainbows always go away away down the mountain I went and at the forest ranger's station he was reading a periodical of auspicuous glory and I said to no one in particular is that the baltimore eats periodical of repute I have heard so much about in the magical forest and he said yes to no one in particular there is a wonderful article on the history of the spoon did you know it used to be called a spoonenheimer and it was a shovel. The end.

I have no problem with the concept of Baltimore Eats. I think it is a good idea. My wife is a free lance writer, and has served as an editor of a small publication, so I am sympathetic to the challenges of running a magazine.

That being said, I think exclamation points are overused in general, but are really overused in Baltimore Eats. The same is true for superfluous language.

I also have issues when publications take the positive angle to the extreme. It's not just Baltimore Eats. The Urbanite (not everything about the ccity is great) and Smart Woman (would anyone create a magazine called "Smart Man") are two other examples of publications that are more about cheerleading than journalism.

There is a place for criticism, especially in the food world. I have neither the time nor the money to try every restaurant. So, to compensate for those limitations, I use filters to help me in my decision process. Elizabeth is filter. Voodoo Pork is a filter. OMG is a filter. I need their honest opinions. What I don't need is faux enthusiasm or cheerleading.

I am a philter.

I declare a truce on B'eats.

TotallyUnassociatedWithCelesteWhoIsAwesome please, Please! PLEASE! tell us you will ride your unicorn (I wonder why its not uniHorn?) to the Blog Party, next month. Such writing skills should not be hidden under a bushel, but illuminated by that wonderful rainbow, of which you write.

Having read Neighborhood Rage, I popped into Baltimore Noir to follow up on the comment about handling criticism gracefully. Well done Celeste of Baltimore Eats. I will have to read your publication more often.

It is a shame that some postings turn into a witch hunt over petty things. I thought this forum was about dining. I was not aware it was about neighborhood battles, punctuation, or lessons in how to be petty.
It is apparent that Charm City, truly contains a few people who have no pray of being charming. For me a life long resident that just adds to our negative nationwide appearance. Well done squeaky wheels.

I guess I felt that it was okay to rough up Baltimore Eats, because it resembles those "magazines" you get in every hotel in every city. Everything in them is positive and totally phony. You buy a big ad in one and then you magically get a glowing "review". And there is the Rachel Ray factor -- sometimes you just want to kick someone who is that upbeat all the time. It just doesn't seem real. I picked up some similar free mag and it had a review of some restaurant. I didn't give it any credibility because I knew it was one of those propaganda rags meant to fool tourists. I don't think people are craving negativity here, just honesty. Because without honesty, I'm just a guy in a unitard and mask with a stunning cape. I guess if we take it to be a cheerleading sort of thing then all the enthusiasm points are fine. Perhaps our mistake was taking it to be a serious publication. If their writing sometimes looks like ad copy, maybe it is.

In the interest of fair play, I will admit that TUWCWIA was really me. I can't ride my unicorn in public, it would make me look crazy.

Good job guys. Now you broke the whole city. Are you happy?

Toast on Wheels
Toast on Wheels
Toast will run you down.
Toast on Wheels will murder you - Be careful!

I hope Owl Meat will wear his unitard to the party.

I don't think we have broken anything, terriermom--we just insist on certain standards, whether it be in food or writing. (And that's coming from a cream puff!)

The Toast on Wheels picture is priceless. I think that is funny and cool. I know I need meds, I do not live in denial

I do not see positive as propaganda, apperently I learned to figure that on a case by case basis. It is called insight, maybe you have lead a jaded life in the public eye Owl Meat. If so I feel sorry for you.

I do agree that some things are geared towards tourists, so what. In case you had not noticed this city is trying to attract them by the conventional center load. Maybe we should all drink the positive cool aid and make this place better. Myself included

As a town, there is a lot to offer, so someone has to spread the word. If anyone on here is a master of publishing start something new. Show me your balanced mad skills.

Do I hear crickets? I think so.

Where did Laura go? As in the original post that started all this? It's hilarious to look at the photo of that lovely, serenely engaged woman and then scroll down through all the Ren and Stimpy mayhem that ensues. Little did Elizabeth realize just how "noir" it would get......

I think Laura is a connoisseur of the wackier side of Charm City, so I wouldn't worry about how she's reacting to how we've veered off the path here.

At this point, I am getting sick and tired of all of the one-post-wonders who just "happened to stumble" on this site and found themselves "shocked" at all the negativity and vitriol –vitriol is the word you all like to use, right - here in charm city.

You all didn't stumble on anything. You are trolls, and your sole purpose is to shill on behalf of Baltimore Eats. I'm with OMG. Let's just be honest. It is time to drop the innocent bystander act, along with all the exclamation marks.

SERENITY NOW!

Good spirit Mr. Rock!

I don't have a unitard, but I did find this cool t-shirt:
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/shirts/americanapparel/baconfront.jpg

I'm not sure of the purpose of this little piece of hell, but here you have McCafe on wheels:

http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/03/19/mccafe_4.jpg

I am shocked, shocked to find this kind of behavior.

I think it's time for the International Consortium of Over Achievers and Literary Geniuses to combine your powers for good. A new school would be a great place for all of the not-so-popular, never-asked-to-the-prom, apple-polishers to finally have a place called home. You know there are 10 million other things you could focus your energy on in this world besides knocking someone trying to make an honest living by encouraging people to spend money with local businesses in this town. Why not criticize The Sun's writers who actually do win Pulitzer's for their stories, grammar and punctuation. Baltimore Eats is a good local mag while maybe not perfect does alot for Baltimore. My last words to you are "It's easier to dis-courage than en-courage" so I guess you folks are just lazy as hell. Thanks for reading....Did I use too many exclamations ????? :)

Lazy as Hell Its the Sandbox's new motto! Many thanks WeezieCuts. We're to lazy to have thought up one ourselves!

International Consortium of Over Achievers and Literary Geniuses

Ah, American anti-intellectualism rears its ugly head. :-)

I could go to the prom, but my wife frowns on me dating high school girls. I expect to see "smarty pants" and "too big for their britches" hurled at us soon enough by these AARP commandos. Truce means truce, dagnabbit! Now let's dance.

This has been a most interesting item. I wonder if anyone has seen that an important issue has emerged from this snowball fight, perhaps by accident. Although I could have done without someone yelling "Wake up to grappa!" this morning.

This blog seems fairly democratic and there are almost no personal attacks on each other, unlike many other blogs. The personal attacks come from RoCk's trolls and since you can't really personally attack someone you don't know, these jabs are fairly harmless and often unintentionally funny. Like all democracies, the free flow of information is vital. And like real world democracies this one is messy and loud at times, because that's the nature of human conduct. Out of this back and forth free-for-all came some good points:

1) A poorly edited publication does a disservice to the writers and the readers. If Elizabeth started writing with that many exclamation points, her editor(s) would have a sit down with her. It's just not professional.
2) Ethics matter. If I think that EL has some bias in a review, then that review is useless to me. If I think the whole publication is biased, let's say toward subjects of reviews or "Best of" lists, like I believe Baltimore Magazine is, then that whole publication is useless to me. Perception is reality here.
3) A free magazine such as Baltimore Eats obviously relies on advertising as its sole financial support. If it is biased toward products or locations that buy ads, then I want to know that. Those reviews and articles are trying to influence how I spend my time and money.
4) I think that the apple-polishers, chowderheads, and prom rejects may have stumbled upon a thorny issue -- are the articles truthful or are they advertising? Sorry, but you can't be both. Since there isn't even a publisher or editor listed on the web site, that leads me to believe that transparency is not a big deal there. I see an ad for La Tavola on the web site. What's this? An article in November 2007 called "IN THE KITCHEN with Carlo Vignotto at LA TAVOLA." I wonder what the tone of the article will be like? "Effervescent..." is the first word. I don't need to read anymore because in my mind the objectivity of the text is compromised. Ethics matter.

Back to blogging all you lazy as hell unpopular losers. See, that was a joke, because I happen to have an old photo of the Zombie Pig of Harmony in a powder blue tuxedo with some wicked David Cassidy-like hair. I will hold that for blackmail purposes. Blog on.

My last words to you...
We can but hope...;-)

Harrumph. I'll have WeezieCuts know that I have been to many proms. Probably before he/she was born.

I'm guessing you don't win a lot of arguments at home, Porkchop. Nicely played Amanda.

I'm guessing you don't win a lot of arguments at home, Porkchop.

If a man speaks in a forest with no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

Grrrrrrrrrrrr. See what kind of reasonable logical discourse I have to put up with. You just don't expect that from a woman. Wake up to grappa, woman!

May we have a show of hands for all who fell sorry for Porkchop?

Those in favour of sainthood for Amanda?

The vote is in. While it is clear Ms. Amanda is deserving of sainthood for her matrimonial choices, the dangling chads indicate that Mr. VD Pork is being unfairly treated.

Sainthood for Amanda!!!!

Bad things often happened to saints. Not necessarily something you should wish for someone that you like. :-)

Thank you folks, but Mr. Pork is not such a maniac in real life. I'm just happy he can get some of his weirdness out here.

I think its the blue ruffles that have cause early and deep damage. Despite Mr. Pork's denial of being in the picture, and claims of real life normalcy, that prom picture from St. Amanda will forever be my mind's eye view of Mr. VD Pork.

(And where are all those baby blue dinner jackets now. Probably happily glowing in some land fill: 75-year half life.)