Shallow Thought Wednesday
Once again Multimedia Editor Extraordinaire and Resident Cheeseburger Expert John Lindner comes through. (I suggested to him that we start calling this blog Dining@LargeandLindner but for some reason he recoiled. In fact, he locked himself in his office.):
I miss Deep Thought Thursdays.
I miss Deep Thought Thursdays.
I offer shallow thoughts.
Maybe your gang can riff off these: ...
Private thoughts of restaurateurs:
- Remember, you’re not buying a bottle of wine, you’re financing my child’s education.
- If you want your mind read, eat with a psychic.
- Your child is only cute when it’s asleep … at home.
- When we said no dress code, we weren’t expecting you.
- You paid for the food, not the flatware, napkins, salt cellars, glasses….
Private thoughts of diners:
- Stop whining about how hard the restaurant business is and get into an easy one.
- Why should I be patient? Am I at my doctor’s office?
- Oh look, the last meal was so good they decided not to wash it off the plate.
- If you want to be paid more for lousy service, get a job at the DMV.
- OK, your wait service was superb but the food was cold; you get a 25 percent tip if I get to waterboard the chef.
- Remember, you’re not buying a bottle of wine, you’re financing my child’s education.
- If you want your mind read, eat with a psychic.
- Your child is only cute when it’s asleep … at home.
- When we said no dress code, we weren’t expecting you.
- You paid for the food, not the flatware, napkins, salt cellars, glasses….
Private thoughts of diners:
- Stop whining about how hard the restaurant business is and get into an easy one.
- Why should I be patient? Am I at my doctor’s office?
- Oh look, the last meal was so good they decided not to wash it off the plate.
- If you want to be paid more for lousy service, get a job at the DMV.
- OK, your wait service was superb but the food was cold; you get a 25 percent tip if I get to waterboard the chef.
Comments
Good morning. How can these be shallow thoughts when many of them have been discussed at length (and some of the ad nauseam) within the confines of D@L? Mr. Lindner, more food for shallow thoughts, please.
Posted by: Piano Rob | March 5, 2008 8:11 AM
From restaurateurs, If you want what you ordered stay at home and cook.
Posted by: Mark | March 5, 2008 10:04 AM
From diners...
Accept the fact that what's left of your grey matter isn't enough to keep you from botching my order and start carrying a pad and pencil.
From restauranteurs...
The menu is there for a reason. Meg Ryan was extremely annoying in When Harry Met Sally.
Good ones.
Posted by: Bob W. | March 5, 2008 10:49 AM
As long as we're being shallow, I've been meaning to mention that on Monday John McIntyre mentioned Owl Meat in his blog.
Owl Meat better not have been posting on some other blog. I'll have to check it out.
OK, you got me.
Posted by: Hal Laurent, VoR | March 5, 2008 12:05 PM
restaurateurs:
If the dish needed more salt, I would have added it.
Posted by: Rosebud (The Blogger Formerly Known as Janet) | March 5, 2008 12:10 PM
Hal, your VoR appendage becomes you!
Posted by: Dahlink | March 5, 2008 12:38 PM
I was reading on a message board about how a waiter at a mid-scale restaurant was trying to press customers into buying a $693 bottle of wine. I'd say that is a waiter attempting to get a REALLY big tip.
Posted by: Alyssa K | March 5, 2008 1:23 PM
We are not amused.
Watch the sky Hal Laurent.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravitas | March 5, 2008 1:31 PM
Diner:
Yes, we have reservations, but we decided to eat here anyway.
I don't care if it is French, a chicken leg's a chicken leg.
The sweetbreads may be organic, but you'll never get me to eat them no matter what you call them.
That may be an artisanal rye, but I'll take the white. I have a friend who cut his tongue with a slice of rusty rye and died of wheat germ.
Restaurateur:
The Botticelli's on the wall, not the wine list.
The reason we seated you at that table was to see if the air conditioning is too cold.
There is a reason it's called Fra Diavolo.
Of course it's not like mom used to make, she quit a week ago.
Posted by: Dave | March 5, 2008 2:18 PM
Watch the sky Hal Laurent.
For meat, or owl droppings? I hope the former, but if the latter I don't want to be looking up.
Posted by: Hal Laurent, VoR | March 5, 2008 2:21 PM
Owl, don't be testy. We love you, too, (shall I count the ways?), but would you really WANT to be called the Voice of Reason?
Posted by: Dahlink | March 5, 2008 2:52 PM
Owl's not annoyed about VoR, he or she's annoyed about the McIntyre blog reference.
Actually, I don't think he or she's annoyed at all, just being humorous as usual.
I laughed out loud at the link to his photo.
Posted by: Hal Laurent, VoR | March 5, 2008 3:34 PM
Not engaged enough to emotionate. Still at the Erotic Falconry event in Germany. More on that on my blog later. Die young, stay pretty!
Posted by: Owl Meat Gewitter | March 5, 2008 4:23 PM