Just stab me with a pitchfork now
I can't believe I'm putting this on my beautiful blog. First a photo of Cheeseburger in a Can and now this. Thanks, Owl Meat. What I want to know is whether this is something you had in your freezer?
For those of you who don't know what we're talking about, it's the answer to the Mystery Food quiz. Please see previous post.
Comments
Is that OMG with the product?
Posted by: Robert (the Single One) | February 6, 2008 2:39 PM
No joke, but I just had exactly that for lunch yesterday (the calzone, not the scary dude). I still have the cutout coupon for "$.50 on your next purchase" from the box sitting next to me.
Posted by: Eric | February 6, 2008 3:05 PM
No, that is not me ... not that there's anything wrong with that.
And no I don't have any in my freezer -- I wish! Four meats and four cheeses and just a soupçon of tamarind!
Hot Pockets!
Here's my inspiration, a Hot Pockets comedy routine from Jim Gaffigan:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aUGG_6griA
My all -time favorite food humor comes from Patton Oswalt regarding the KFC Famous Bowl aka a Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl (NSFW):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfan5MacmsI
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | February 6, 2008 3:18 PM
Interesting to note that the TV commercials for these calzones don't use the "guy in red" - just a push-button in-the-wall pizza oven. This must be a print ad. But, OMG, if you don't have a box of them in your freezer, where did you locate the list of ingredients? I searched the Internet (albeit not too extensively here at the office) to no avail; the Hot Pockets website is certainly of no help.
Posted by: Rob | February 6, 2008 4:15 PM
omg, OMG - that Gaffigan link is hysterical - almost as funny as Jeff Dunham's Achmed the Dead Terrorist. And, btw, there's no way in creation that I shall touch any version of Hot Pockets - in any variation - thanks to this wonderful blog! BA Elizabeth has now added saving lives to her resume!
Posted by: Rob | February 6, 2008 4:38 PM
I'm not sure Hot Pockets really wants Flamboyant Satan pushing their product. I Photoshopped it.
Yeah, the Hot Pockets web site won't reveal the ingredients. I found the ingredients on Safeway.Com, but they didn't have enough room to list all the ingredients, so I found the full list on Peapod.Com.
Just plain frightening. Can you imagine the mad scientists that formulate this crap? I've designed two stage multinomial logit statistical models that were less complex.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | February 6, 2008 4:52 PM
Oh, Jim Gaffigan is way more funny than Jeff Dunham.
Hotpockets are funnier than puppets
Posted by: Robert from Cross Keys | February 6, 2008 10:12 PM
I'm not sure if I'm glad or sad that Pitchfork Guy is not the droll Mr. Gravy.
Posted by: Robert (the Single One) | February 6, 2008 10:26 PM
You know, I have a feeling that the screaming stain (from the ad aired during the Super Bowl and beyond) is the result of eating a Hot Pockets product on the run. And since one cannot understand what the stain is screaming, it's obvious that Hot Pockets are either imports or outsourced for production. YUM!
Posted by: Rob | February 7, 2008 8:22 AM
I'm sure that OMG is much better looking than Flamboyant Satan...but I'm pretty certain that their temperament is the same!!
I'm going to see a specialist now...I LIVED on Hot Pockets in high school...darn you, Mom!!!!
Posted by: kimmer1850 | February 7, 2008 8:52 AM
Rob, you clearly have Hot Pocket psychosis. Seek treatment: take three Starburst fruit chews, a cup o' noodles and two Our Fathers. Now go in peace.
ELar, I'm sorry I ruined your classy blog.
Poor Kimmer ... Death Pockets!
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | February 7, 2008 10:50 AM
Thanks, OMG. There were coupons in the Sunday paper for...Hot Pockets. And now I can't get that darned jingle out of my head..."Hot POCKETS!"..."Hotttt....POCKETS!" Argh!
Posted by: Zevonista | February 10, 2008 4:07 PM
Zevonista, does your name related to the late great Thomspon gunner?
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | February 10, 2008 7:44 PM
Zevonista, does your name related to the late great Thomspon gunner?
Absolutely. The man's music changed my life! It was a shame he went so young...
Posted by: Zevonista | February 11, 2008 12:50 PM
Don't the Sun look angry through the trees? Desperados Under the Eaves is my favorite song ever. Such aching sad beauty. See, I like some things.
Posted by: Owl Meat Gravy | February 11, 2008 3:29 PM