While I feel a little sympathy for her being held responsible for something beyond her control, it isn't your job as a customer to teach her how to be a good waitress. That's the job of the restaurant.

2 cents and not a penny more. I've done it three, maybe four times in 20 - 30 years.

When I have rotten service, whether it seems to be the kitchen or the waitress, I always go to the manager. I let him/her know what the problem is, and they usually offer a small reduction in the bill, or something. However, that is not why I do it. Leaving a tiny tip, or no tip, does not really solve the problem. If I notify the manager they investigate and fix the problem (usually).

I just need to get this one off my chest.... It's really unrelated to the above story but I have to make a comment on poor service (where it definitely was not the kitchen's fault). ...We went to Louisana in Fell's Point three weeks ago.... The food was great. The service was an embarassment to fine dining and we will never go back. We had 14 people, spent a little over a hundred per person on food and drinks and to start us off we had a server who took almost a half hour before taking our drink order. Then when the food finally came out about an hour later he carried one plate at a time from the tray he sat on the other side of the restaurant- by the time my soup arrived it was cold. We had clients with us and he spilled not one but two drinks on the same man's lap during dinner service. We had to get up and ask for someone (another server) to come over and help him. We placed a call to the restaurant to talk to the manager or owner and it's been over a week and we havent heard back. It's a shame but now we know why on a Saturday night at 7 pm there only two other tables in the restaurant. Again...the chef has his or her act together- great food. It's a shame.

10%, given the service, is both appropriate and generous. Unfortunately, as Susan said, a poor tip in itself will fail improve the service skills of server, or improve the overall service of the restaurant. In eight cases out of ten, tip percentage is not a reflection of the quality of service, but rather an indication of what that customer typically tips. Consequently, whether a tip is 10% or 30%, a server generally pays it no mind and presumes the customer is either cheap or generous. If this young lady brought out two entrees without the third, she has obviously been poorly trained. If she committed to an “up next,” regardless of the actual situation in the kitchen, she obviously lacks experience. Hiding and avoiding eye contact when there is a problem also indicate a lack of experience. Unfortunately, service training in restaurants rarely teach servers how best to smooth over problems or mistakes and more often focuses on telling servers to not make mistakes.

I should congratulate you on your bravery. These kinds of topics tend to go nuts.

I tip 20% most of the time, more if the bill is very low, say under $10. That's pretty much for what I consider adequate service. Very good service will get something of an increase.

If there are acute problems, I agree with Susan that it should be brought to the attention of a manager. Leaving a small tip doesn't address the problem, and if the tip is low enough, can actually cost the server money out of pocket once taxes and tip outs are figured in.

A waiter would have to be directly rude to me or my companions before I'd go below 20%.

Bravo to you for opening a dialogue on tipping. However, everyone misses the point that merely leaving a lesser percentage DOES NOT get the intended message across. Instead of causing the server or restaurant to reflect on potential service problems, you portray yourself as a cheap b*st*rd.

If you're really interested in alerting someone to the problems then you need to speak up and have a discussion with the manager and server. It's certainly unpleasant to face the people who you're short-changing but you need to do it and be firm about your convictions in doing so.

It's a relatively simple matter of letting them know you will be leaving a lesser tip than normal because of X, Y and Z reasons. They can protest, they can call you names, but you would have put them on notice to shape up. And that's a step in the right direction for all of us.

Agree with the other posters here. You must speak to the manager to get the problem resolved, otherwise small tips are usually interpreted as you are just cheap instead of being based on service. If it's an establishment that cares about providing good service they will follow up and take steps to remedy the situation. In the case of Louisiana (where despite a phone call to management thats gone unanswered) service problems don't get addressed and you end up with an empty restaurant on weekend nights. I know this because I was there on Friday the 4th around 7 and there were only three tables in the place. Very sad.

I'm glad you understand my woes with Louisana. I noticed in my post I had put one week. Not sure why i did that other than the fact that I was typing too fast! but we dined there on Saturday the 22nd of December and here we are much later and still no call! I think someone should lure the obviously talented chef away from there to somewhere that they'll have diners to enjoy it!