Just as a FYI...Lista's is alive and well on Mountain Rd. in Pasadena!

Thanks. I should have said closed in its Fells Point location.

My girlfriend Amie was a server for years. She always said the worst thing a server could do was not give patrons their bills on time.

But what frustrates me most is when servers don't tell me why things are taking so long. If my meal is going to come later than expected, just tell me! Don't avoid me or keep telling me 5 more minutes.

The following is a joke that always comes to mind when I think about restaurant service:

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked,

"Why the spoon?"

Well, " he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired a service consultant to revamp all our processes.

After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon is the most frequently dropped utensil.

It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.

So before he walked off, I asked the waiter,

"Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!"

Then he lowered his voice.

"Not everyone is so observant.

That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."

"After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

Well, " he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

A topic Idea: 10 restaurants in a particular neighborhood like, Fells Point, Canton, Federal Hill, Towson, Columbia, Bel Air, etc. You would be able to get a few weeks out of that one. Or top corner bars that serve great food.

My two biggest pet peeves of servers are not taking drink orders right away and asking if you need change back when you pay cash.

The worst thing a server can do is ignore you. We had dinner someplace recently and it took 45 minutes for the apps to be delivered to the table. No explanation. Then another 45 minutes for the entrees. No explanation. But she did manage to get the bill to us rather quickly, even though the place wasn't at all full. We didn't manage to give her more than 15% tip. No explanation.

The most frequent “service mistake” I see (and a pet peeve of mine) is the server who is absolutely on time with greeting, taking and delivering drink orders, taking meal order, pacing meal delivery, clearing the table, taking and delivering coffee/desert and then either (a) totally disappears when you want your check dropped, or (b) drops the check timely and then disappears when you want them to come back and get the check. This is especially frustrating when you’re trying to make a movie/show/concert start time.

Epitaph for a waiter: God finally caught his eye.

Letting water glasses go dry is my biggest service pet peeve. It's the difference between an OK server and someone who deserves the 20 percent tip.

Nice one, Jamie! My co-workers are all curious - "what's so funny over there?".

I agree on check timeliness as worthy of the top ten. Another one that might be worthy of the list is when servers avoid eye contact with the folks at their tables. Far too often in between table visits the server will do everything in their power to avoid eye contact with their customers, making it really difficult to iron out any issues that arise in a timely fashion so your food doesn't get cold while you are waiting for your .

The thing that gets me hot under the collar is the waitperson who squats down so his or her head is at table level and intrudes into a conversation without saying "excuse me". Usually, this routine occurs at chain restaurants for some reason. Upon assuming the squat, the intruder embarks upon a recitation of the specials of the day, etc. Why not simply remain standing, excuse him/herself and then begin the obligatory recitation? Or, simply leave a list of the specials on the table. So few restaurants do this. Is this asking too much??

1) Not setting fresh wine glasses when a new bottle is opened...and, worse, served.

2) Clearing a guest's dish before everyone at the table has finished eating.

I have lots of pet peeves about servers -- maybe b/c I was one for a few years, but here they are: 1) sitting a tray on your table - the tray could be dirty and I don't want it sitting where I'm about to eat; 2) not at least acknowledging a table in the first 60 seconds after being seated. If you at least tell me you will be right with me, I have much more patience; 3) grabbing a cup or whatever with the servers hand over it. It's a big cup - grab it somewhere my mouth won't be touching or somewhere were nothing can fall of your hands into my drink; 4) for soups - never put the spoon in the bowl, always serve on the side so I can make sure it is clean; 5) and this is my biggest one -- never make me sit and look at all of my dirty dishes. Please clear them immediately. And if you are busy have someone else do it but make sure they ask before grabbing.
I think that about does it... lol Wow, after re-reading that I think I have some issues haha

Also..."GUYS" ...I'm a female, my 65 yr.old mom is a female and my 90 yr old grandmother is a female. They have earned the right not to be called "guys."

Pacing. I despise having a main come to the table while I'm still working on (or have just barely finished) my app. I may be in the minority, but I think most places pace meals far too quickly.

If I paid for an expensive drink don't take it away when I still have a few sips left.

A couple of posts have, rightly I might add, pointed out the importance of a server communicating well with the table (timely initial approach, appropriate level of formality, explaining kitchen delays, etc.). But as a former server, it's worth pointing out that this, like most things, is a two-way street. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to approach a table on a busy night only to be ignored while someone finishes a story. Or to be told the table is ready to order and then stand there for minutes at a time while everyone makes up their mind.

Why does the wait staff automatically put lemons in diet sodas? They don't do that with any other drink. I ask to have another soda, without lemon, brought to me while still keeping the old one on the table so they do not just remove the lemon.

To me, one of the worst service errors is bringing out one course when
there is an unfinished one on the table. I do not understand the mindset
of a server who comes out with my entree while I am still enjoying my
appetizer course. Unless the server is blind, stupid, or both, this
error is easily avoided. Even better is when they push the appetizer out
of the way to put down the entree. That actually makes it harder for the
customer to enjoy the dish and slows down his/her eating.

The other week, I heard the excuse that it was the kitchen's fault for
getting the entree order done too fast. The dish was a stew, clearly not
made a la minute. I explained to the server that the tip is not going to
the kitchen staff. The error is all too frequent and always avoidable.
Best, Sam

Elizabeth - as you can see from all these comments, your readers have a lot to say about eating out! Have you thought about doing a live chat? I, for one, would love to hear more of your thoughts and to hear from other readers. I think it would be a hit!

Thanks for the suggestion...

HATE "guys"! lf it persists after I ask that it stop, the tip drops. Recently a diner waitress totally ignored us after I asked her not to say "guys"; she got a 10% tip. The lesson here is: don't get snooty with customers if it can affect your wallet.

How about when you pay cash, and the server returns the change in a way to try to force you to leave a bigger tip (e.g., no $1 bills)?!

Different Strokes for Different Folks!!

Some customers get annoyed when you don't remove their plate as soon as they're finished, others prefer that you wait until the entire party is finished before clearing the table.

Someone mentioned that they don't like when servers "squat" next to their table to be at eye level with the patrons. Even though I don't really like this either, on this very blog a few weeks back there was a link to a study that showed this to be a great technique for increasing tips!

I guess what I'm getting at is that everyone has different expectations when they dine out. Any good server attempts to read their customers from the time they're seated and decide the best way to accomodate each individual party.

Take it easy and keep in mind that even in these troubled times in which we're living, your server is most likely making about 2 bucks an hour. Please give the amount you tip as much consideration as you expect your server to give to your table.

Squatting is bad enough, but how about the server who sits in an empty chair at your table? I was at a national steak chain and my server pulled out a chair, sat and started listing the specials. I thought I had gotten into someplace on the Block & more than food was on offer. Servers are not long lost friends.

I always loved the service at Jennier's. You never saw a naked table as the tablecloth was being changed. This kind of care and service always earned generous tips.

as a former server, i have a few thoughts:

the lemon in the diet soda is often a way to differentiate it from a regular soda when multiple drinks are carried at the same time. i see no harm in simply requesting "no lemon please" if someone doesnt like them?

no matter how busy or empty the restaurant is, the server has no control over how fast the food is made. often when a restaurant is slow, the kitchen is relaxing a bit, and so food might come out slower. a good server should certainly be attentive and apologize for the delay, but you can't blame them when apps take an hour. you can only blame them if they were unattentive during that hour.

asking "did you need change?" is not a way to be impolite; its just a way to save time- some people might not need it, and i personally think its rude for a server to look at the amount of cash in front of a table.

the "different strokes for different strokes" comment is so true: when i eat out, i can't stand when my dirty plate is sitting in front of me, but some people dont like when a server clears their plate.

and seriously- servers really are making $2/hour, and when you dont tip them, they actually lose money, because they are expected to give out a certain amount of money each night to the bartenders, bussers, hostesses, etc.

i think the moral of the story is: be nice to people who have the last say in what goes into your plate =)

1. disappearing when you want the check.

2. disappearing when you finally have the check and desperately want to just pay and get out of there.

3. leaving you without a drink, especially in the middle of a meal.

4. leaving plates sitting on the table long after everyone is finished.

"Guys" is the worse.

In their book "The Waitng Game", Kirkham, Weiss,and Crawford (p.39) under Five Rules of Clearing-#1 Wait until everyone has finished eating before you begin clearing.
I think it's proper not to make those who eat slow be feel uncomfortable. The wait staff can alwys ask first.

Asking: "Are you done working on that?" If eating their food is work, I shouldn't be there! I now leave a small card for these servers that says 'I'm not "working" on my food: I'm enjoying it.

Elizabeth, getting back to your request for furture top ten topics (althought we may never exhaust this one), my husband suggests the pricing of wine in restaurants. He travels a lot, and his observation is that Baltimore restaurants mark up the wines much more than restaurants in other cities.
Meanwhile, are you still working on that, guys?

Excellent idea!

Tuesday night, totaled out to a $50 a plate dinner with wine, and of course, the server expecting 20%. Place was not crowded but we had empty water glasses, empty coffee cups, coffee served after the dessert (pet peeve). We had to ask twice for ice,water and bread. reaching across a person still eating to clear another diner's plate. It was my first visit there and the food was good but service is part of the meal and it is definitely a detractor.
Sorry not going back - too many other places to try.

Allowing my water glass go empty (even if i have a beer or wine next to it) is a killer for me. I tip very generously as it is, but when the water is full, so is the tip.

Also, you said about topics. I dont know if it was done recently (just started reading your blog), but affordable brunch or breakfast places would be great.

Frozen butter for bread.

Being told to "close your eyes and point" when asked for suggestions from the menu.

Ha ha, Nick, with the portion sizes some restaurants serve, getting through the whole meal is work! My biggest peeve is when the server brings the check, then disappears. Seconded by failure to mention the specials.

I love this idea of customers put they’re inputs for such a difficult business..... what I would like one day as hot topic from this blog is for Miss Large to start one about "what we think about our customers in a restaurant", and trust me you will have some good stuff to read especially how rude customers can really be.

Will do!

Another peeve from me... reciting the specials and the prices at a breakneck speed. How hard is it, with computers and cheap printers to print the specials list and slip it inside the menu? It the specials are truly special, you will only be using the sheet for one day and should only have to print as many of them as there are menus.

how about 'good attitude'? just be polite & friendly to me and I can probably overlook most other issues. But give me attitude & I will not be happy. You're in the service industry - if you don't like people and can't be nice & pleasant to them, get a different job...

In my career ( over 18 years and still counting) i heard a lots of people saying this saying that but what about the other side, when you come in a restaurant did you have ever think about this kids, grown woman and man that are here to serve you but they are not your servant........... i for first when i cook i think as a chef as well as a customer and trust me when we receive some changes or "special requests" or change specials that we work for couple day's on it, or what about people come here eat and get up and live without paying nothing. yes we are in the service industry as well anyone else works in public places that do not give a damn if you had a bad day and they treat you bad, but you will going out for dinner and be just the same the first restaurant or service industry you go to so they can feel miserable as you, and they know they can't do nothing because you will tip them or not tipped at all, because you can live without tipping because you are not legallly forced to do it and many people know.
And this people that work in the "service industry" have children, car payments motgages etc, just like everyone else.
But it easier to complain to an service industry than give compliments and that what kill us, complain stick stronger than compliments.
To finish i wish i could use my real name but it will work against me, but next time you go to a restaurant think give them a real chance of they're way interpret "service industry" everyone do it differentele.
Miss Large than you, you start something that i care a lot, and compliments on your blog and hopefully you give the word to us from the "service industry " as well

1. Clearing plates before the rest of the party is finished, the remaining eaters feel rushed
2. Lemon in diet coke is not necessary, use cocktail stirrer to differentiate
3. Using a smelly cleaning solution or smelly cloth to wipe down tables while guests are still eating (huge pet peeve)
4. Not refilling glasses, especially when serving a dish with warning "this is spicy."
5. Replace flatware between courses, don't ask me to keep a dirty fork in anticipation. If I don't have bread plate, should I hold it in my hand until the next course arrives?

Since Father Damien isn't jumping in here to urge us all to get along, I'd like to suggest that everyone go read P.M. Forni's "Choosing Civility," or his forthcoming "The Civility Solution." We could all benefit from following his suggestions. And I want to thank the anonymous chef for voicing his heartfelt perspective.

One of the things that I don't like is when the server disappears and I discover that they are really hanging out with their friends at one of the tables!

Restaurant guests have devised a trillion ways of annoying servers, but my absolute favorite is when guests (usually men) decide they must impress their companions by belittling the server. While working in Little Italy, I encountered men correcting my Italian pronunciation (I'm relatively sure our native Italian chef and owner know their stuff, thank you) or warning me that I'd better know the meaning of the word "TIP" if I expect one, and then cackling hysterically afterward, chest puffed out, at the very idea that he controls my earnings for the day (TIP, by the way, supposedly stands for "to insure prompt service.").

I think I'm going to need to post a separate entry, ways restaurant guests annoy servers :-)

Hey GUYS, just thought you'd like to know that the definition of "Guys" is general neutral:
b: person —used in plural to refer to the members of a group regardless of sex
(Merriam Webster)
So, I hope all you guys have a great day, and enjoy the blog!

I hate when the food comes out on top of each other before you have a chance to finish one course before the next comes out.

I also hate when they drop the food off and don't come back in a few minutes to make sure everything is alright. There have been many times when I needed something or something was missing and I had to wait for 10 minutes and my food got cold.

I worked in the food service industry for 7 years (high school through college) I have been in the kitchen as a cook and expo, have hostessed, and I have served and cocktailed. I have seen it all, in regards to customers. I also dine out a lot so I have seen some of the best service and some of the worst service. As was said before, dining out is a two way street between a server and the customer. So here it goes.....

A couple of my server pet peeves:
1. ULTIMATE: When a server comes to your table and you can smell the smoke on their hands and breath. ATTENTION, this is disgusting! First of all, I am going to be eating food and all I can smell is smoke. Second of all, you most likely did not wash your hands.
2. Taking 5+ min to come over and greet a table. At least tell me you'll be right with me. I know it gets busy, but it's never too busy for a 30 second "I'll be right with you"
3. Squatting or sitting at a table just for kicks. Sometimes throughout the night you can build up that type of relationship with your table, but when you greet me, you don't know me so don't sit down. It's all about being able to read the customer.
4. As everyone else has said, being attentive the whole night and as soon as the check is dropped you think your job is done (please check on me in 2 min). I will say though, that sometimes you have to wait in line to print checks...

A couple of my customer pet peeves:

1. Allowing children to do what they wish to the table, floor, and seating area. Would you let your children dump sugar, ketchup, and food all over the floor of YOUR kitchen and dining area? I didn't think so, so don't do it on ours.

2. Carrying on a conversation at the table, ignoring my "excuse me", never allowing me to ask for drinks, and then rudely telling me that you are ready. As if I haven't been attentive enough.

3. Arguing with me about menu items. If "I apologize we're out of that tonight" and you try and debate me on why and how we are out of it, that's just annoying. Why don't we carry a certain type of salad dressing? I don't know, this isn't a grocery store. (I never actually responded that way, I was always always polite with my responses).

4. When you are conversing/taking orders for a table and a customer from another table yells to you or taps you, or makes requests from you MID - ORDER/CONVERSATION. That is rude.

5. Checks. If using a credit card, please display it somehow so I know that you are ready for your check to be picked up - I don't want to ask, as I feel it is impolite.

Oh the list could go on.....

I was a server for 7 yrs (and a very good one) and it appears that many people on the blog forget that we are providing "YOU" a service, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't expect politeness, promptness and good service. But I found often I was treated as a second class citizen, mutual respect, please and thank you from the patron would be a very nice change.
So here are some of the my pet peeves as a server -
-the family that allows the children to treat the wait staff like a personal servant
- the party of 10 that leave that runs you twice as hard and more often than not leaves a less than desirable tip
-the customer, that "special orders" everything then gets upset when it takes longer
I really did enjoy being a server for the most part, but you do only make $2.00/hr and when you provide good service, you expect that service to be refelected in the tip, often it isn't because I've actually heard customer's say "If they don't like there job, and relying on tips they should get another job" If all the servers did that I guess you would be at home cooking or a buffett, clearing your own dishes. It goes both ways. Mutual respect and good manners.

Why does the wait staff automatically put lemons in diet sodas? They don't do that with any other drink. I ask to have another soda, without lemon, brought to me while still keeping the old one on the table so they do not just remove the lemon.

Huh? Why not just take the lemon off?

I'm glad I'm not your waiter.

Sorry, Mather, but I have to disagree about "guys" being gender neutral. It can be, but have you ever met a woman named Guy? Or expect a mixed crowd of "wise guys"? Or how about that old favorite musical, "Guys and Dolls"? Why not just call it "Guys"?

It is too casual to use in a formal setting--maybe okay in a greasy spoon.

My pet peeve is not being acknowledged in a timely manner when first arriving and when things are slow. There is a restaurant my husband and I frequent, that is convenient to home, has good food and the service very inconsistent, but we know that, so we get what we get. We have probably had everything mentioned in these posts happen in just the one place. Anyway, my other pet peeve is going out to eat with people who don't tip well, I never go out with them a second time. I appreciate when I go out and then can go home without having to cook and clean.