Everybody wants to be a restaurant critic
While I'm on vacation, I'm mulling over this e-mail I got from Good Eater and Web Editor Extraordinaire John, who surprisingly has a job as food editor on his resume.
On the one hand, probably 99 percent of the human race would rather read about bacon cheeseburgers than, say, escargots. On the other hand, I'm very possessive about my blog.
Still, as Max on Veronica Mars said, "Information wants to be free." I suppose that applies to where you can get great bacon cheeseburgers. And, frankly, I'm not as wedded to them as a culinary ideal as John is, so you may not be hearing as much about them from me as you want to.
Here's his e-mail: ...
Elizabeth,
It's time to add a bacon cheeseburger review to your blog.
You know it. I know it.
The bacon cheeseburger is, of course, one of the highest expressions of
culinary proficiency. One can easily predict the quality of a
restaurant's fare by first sampling its bacon cheeseburger. (Out of
professional courtesy, I acknowledge that cohort which insists the same
is true of the Reuben.) The reason for this is obvious: If one can't get
the bacon cheeseburger right, whether through incompetency or disregard,
how likely is one to succeed in loftier projects? Never have I tasted a
subpar bacon cheeseburger and found anything else on the menu worthy of
an even marginally refined palate.
The bacon cheeseburger, besides containing more nutritional virtue than
I have time to extol here, deceives the careless cook in its apparent
simplicity. Its base ingredients include ground beef, a rasher and a
half of bacon, a layer of tangy cheddar or rich smoked gouda -- what's
to screw up? Well that's exactly the attitude that produces the
heartbreaking (if not burning) results that I all too often encounter in
my forays into Greater Maryland restaurants.
Therefore, I hereby offer my services as bacon cheeseburger scout. I
propose to periodically submit concise evaluations (as well as split
infinitives) of bacon cheeseburger offerings around and about Greater
Maryland.
Should you accept, we'll both benefit: I'll have a prestigious outlet
for my rages or raves; you will have a vital but time-consuming task
removed from your plate.
Whadya say?
-jl
It's time to add a bacon cheeseburger review to your blog.
You know it. I know it.
The bacon cheeseburger is, of course, one of the highest expressions of
culinary proficiency. One can easily predict the quality of a
restaurant's fare by first sampling its bacon cheeseburger. (Out of
professional courtesy, I acknowledge that cohort which insists the same
is true of the Reuben.) The reason for this is obvious: If one can't get
the bacon cheeseburger right, whether through incompetency or disregard,
how likely is one to succeed in loftier projects? Never have I tasted a
subpar bacon cheeseburger and found anything else on the menu worthy of
an even marginally refined palate.
The bacon cheeseburger, besides containing more nutritional virtue than
I have time to extol here, deceives the careless cook in its apparent
simplicity. Its base ingredients include ground beef, a rasher and a
half of bacon, a layer of tangy cheddar or rich smoked gouda -- what's
to screw up? Well that's exactly the attitude that produces the
heartbreaking (if not burning) results that I all too often encounter in
my forays into Greater Maryland restaurants.
Therefore, I hereby offer my services as bacon cheeseburger scout. I
propose to periodically submit concise evaluations (as well as split
infinitives) of bacon cheeseburger offerings around and about Greater
Maryland.
Should you accept, we'll both benefit: I'll have a prestigious outlet
for my rages or raves; you will have a vital but time-consuming task
removed from your plate.
Whadya say?
-jl
Comments
Along this line the NEWARK (NJ)STAR LEDGER has a traveling "Munchmobile". The premise is that each week the paper picks 6 of their readers to travel around the state and sample a different type of food or food group. It is very entertaing and opens the possibilities of more places than most of us can get to, but also to know of a great spot when we are out of the area we live in. It would be a great way to involve the masses without tarnishing your crown. Here is the most current link.
http://www.nj.com/starledger/stories/index.ssf?/base/living-0/1186116144277760.xml&coll=1
Posted by: mdlrvrmuncher | August 27, 2007 8:33 AM
I'm not sure which statement astounds me more -- that the bacon cheeseburger is an expression of
culinary proficiency; that it is the harbinger of whatever else is offered; or that it is nutritionally virtuous. More likely, it is a coronary-in-waiting, however tasty.
Posted by: David Herstein | August 27, 2007 9:38 AM
I agree with David. I just can't see a decent bacon cheeseburger as any kind of culinary challenge or predictor of a restaurant's other fare. And "nutritional value?" Puh-leeze!
Posted by: Dottie | August 27, 2007 10:49 AM
I agree--I've never thought it a true measure of anything other than fat and fattening. Certainly not a benchmark for culinary expertise IMO and don't get me started on how unhealthy....
Posted by: Desiree | August 27, 2007 11:52 AM
I view his comments about the bacon cheeseburger being "the highest expressions of culinary proficiency" and its nutritional value to be rather tongue in cheek. I think he just wants an outlet to write about BCB's. Maybe I'm wrong. God help his arteries if he was serious.
Elizabeth, I say you let him post his top 5 BCB's in Bmore, and let people discuss. If he mentions Cheeseburger Cheeseburger as a place to get a great BCB, then clearly, he is unqualified and deserves no further web space :).
I personally like 5 Guys for chain restaurant burgers. Pete's Grille, despite their horribly slow service since the new owners took over, has a good burger. I've also had a good burger at Hull Street Blues in Locust Point, and Duda's pub in Fells.
Posted by: Dan | August 28, 2007 1:37 PM
Ughhh! I've bitten my tongue for long enough. I value the comments on the blog because you (Elizabeth) can't possibly eat at every restaurant or try every culinary delight in the Greater Baltimore area. Plus, different perspectives are refreshing. However, John lost me when he busted out a thesaurus on his attempt to declare the cheeseburger "one of the highest expressions of culinary proficiency." There are so many reasons I internally screamed "Boo!" when I read his letter aside from the fact that his ideas and comments are totally cliche (the quintessential pizza, steak, etc.) No thanks. Last I checked, the blog was called Dining@Large not Free4All.
Posted by: SGI | August 29, 2007 12:46 PM