Poor Mr. Ecks. He's the owner of the Chez Casa di Trattoria della Parma. (The names have been changed to protect the innocent.) He's upset because his special deal -- half-price squab covered with nightingale tongues and a side of mashers on alternate Sundays -- wasn't included in my Top Ten today.

Well, tough, Mr. Ecks. I've been asking for suggestions for a week. What, you're too modest to post your own specials? So you should have had your mother do it. Or post it yourself under an assumed name. I'm not psychic, you know.