Top Ten Not Your Parents' Restaurants
(Monica Lopossay/Sun Photographer)
When parents and in-laws visit, I say err on the conservative side when you pick a restaurant. (See last week's Top Ten.) Save these ten places for yourself and your friends. I know, I know. Your parents have been to every one of these and loved them all. I'm talking about other people's parents. ...
* Rocket to Venus. This hip Hampden eatery is guaranteed to make anyone over 30 feel ancient, with its retro sci-fi decor and well-pierced staff. The food is fine, but most of the clientele doesn't look old enough to vote.
* Lime (801 E. Fort Ave.). You go for the 80 different tequilas and the margaritas. You perch on a stool at a high top table and never notice they aren't as comfortable as a banquette. You enjoy the limited Tex-Mex menu. Believe me, your folks won't.
* Ixia. Every generation deserves to have a special occasion restaurant of their own, expensive and with great food. Yes, your parents would love chef Kevin Miller's cuisine; but when they see the edgy, theatrical setting they're going to wonder why you didn't take them to Tio Pepe.
* Red Maple. Are your in-laws beautiful enough and young enough to eat here? I think not. Plus they are not going to appreciate the seating (extremely low) or the tiny Asian dishes, each one an objet d'art that they'll have to eat with chopsticks.
* Tsunami in Annapolis. The name says it all. It's like eating in a tidal wave when the place is packed. The noise is almost balanced by the wonderful Pacific Rim cuisine, but you'd do better to wait to see if the Baltimore branch, which should open in August, is a little less edgy and a little quieter.
* Dukem. Their idea of adventuresome foreign food is fajitas at Chili's. Not kitfo, tibs, kornis, and alicha. They are so not going to enjoy eating very spicy food containing ingredients they don't recognize with spongy pieces of bread rather than knives and forks.
* Mama's on the Half Shell (2901 ODonnell St.). The oysters are fabulous. Love the warm Old Baltimore look of the place. But at peak hours the noise level is staggering, and the in-laws won't appreciate the first-floor bar crowd. Arthritic knees won't enjoy going up and down those stairs to the dining room when things are hopping.
* Martick's (214 W. Mulberry St.). Even good French food won't make up for the unfortunate neighborhood and the creepy locked entrance. Your parents will be freaked out before they even get inside, and the fact that Martick's is a Baltimore institution won't cut much ice with them.
* Papermoon Diner. If they're over 40, they probably won't understand why you even need a place that's open 24/7. Papermoon's eye-popping colors, quirky decor, casual servers, student clientele and diner food -- none of it is going to go over well.
* Zodiac (1724 N. Charles St.). Your in-laws will think the astrologically-themed decor is silly, it can be crazy on the weekends, and what's appealing to you -- the variety of good vegan and vegetarian dishes -- will mean nothing to them.
Thanks to Marty, Sam, Mather and Steve for their help.
ps: Today's photo is the answer to yesterday's photo.
Comments
I really disagree about Martick's. Morris Martick himself is older than ANYBODY'S parents. Pretty much everybody who's ever been here went here the first time WITH their parents. So I don't think this one belongs on the list. But I would add to the list: Holy Frijoles, which I adore, in Hampden. Too small, too spicy, too many piercings, too quirky for parents.
Posted by: DLR | July 17, 2007 11:09 AM
"if they're over 40?" Ouch, EL. So maybe I don't go to Papermoon in the wee hours anymore....
And...my mother was the one who took me to Martick's for the first time. I was 16. She...was over 40. :) I agree about the rest. Oh, except Ixia. I've taken my dad there, and he admitted the decor was a little different from when it had been Louie's.
Posted by: Kathy | July 17, 2007 12:49 PM
40 is the new 30, haven't you heard?
You need to change it to "if they're over 60" so you don't offend any more blog readers...
I also question the "over 30 feel ancient"...
I'll just shoot myself now, before my impending 40th birthday.
Posted by: Paula | July 17, 2007 1:58 PM
OMG...I'm over 40 and I go to a few of these places on a regular basis - especially Mama's. I recently took my parents there: 65&68 years young. Mom thought the place was hoppin' for a Sunday night while Dad pondered if anyone had to work the next day...as he sipped on his PBR. Both parents asked me when the smoking ban was going ot take effect.
As for Papermoon, it's a step up from Sip-N-Bite...'cuz I'm too old for that crowd.
Posted by: Pete | July 17, 2007 2:03 PM
You obviously need to get out more with "other people's parents" and the over 30 group. You'll find them at the above 10.
Posted by: PJ | July 17, 2007 3:10 PM
I'd add Pazo to the list. Fabulous food, but the music and crowds can be a little overwhelming. Or not, depending on your style.
Posted by: MWW | July 17, 2007 3:17 PM
By "casual servers" at the Papermoon, did you actually mean "horrible service?"
Maybe 20-somethings are the only ones that can stand waiting forever to be served, being ignored, and then getting the wrong food...but I'm a 20-something and I don't eat there anymore.
Posted by: MA | July 17, 2007 4:32 PM
Yeah, I took my mother- and father-in-law to Papermoon once. My mother in law was semi-offended by the naked mannequins with nipples.
Posted by: SF | July 17, 2007 5:16 PM
As a 30-something I would rather go to the places to take your parents over the places not to take them.
Give me Tio Pepe or the Prime Rib over Paper Moon or Red Maple any day. I'll take garlic shrimp and pineapple vodka instead of surly outcasts and wannabe hipsters.
Posted by: Robert | July 17, 2007 10:57 PM
Wow! And you thought there was no one reading this blog. Talk about opening a can of worms. This is hilarious because the issue became my parents are cooler than yours instead of addressing the real issue of older folks seeking a different experience than a twenty something. I am reminded of when I took my parents to the then very in Jai Hind. It was my favorite restaurant. My folks thought that I had clearly lost my mind. Where was the atmosphere? Where was the prime rib? Where was the comfortable seating? Needless to say, they never returned. Now, as a fifty-something, I can tell you that I still love different food experiences but I need comfortable seating and a less spastic environment in which to enjoy it. I guess that puts me in the less than cool category.
Posted by: Regina | July 18, 2007 6:40 AM
As a parent, I agree with the choice of Red Maple. My husband and I wandered in there for our anniversary dinner. The food and service were good, but those seats killed my back. I long for the days when seating didn't matter as much to me but like it or not, I am getting old!
Posted by: Coleen Hanna | July 18, 2007 6:50 AM