The "Ask Amy" column in The Baltimore Sun occasionally dips into bookish topics, and today she fielded a question from Mary about book club relationships and etiquette. "In my book group, we try to keep our discussions focused by following the reading group guides or questions provided by the publisher. Nevertheless, one of our members never fails to monopolize the discussion, and her comments are mostly off the mark or anecdotal." She wants to get the club back on track, warning that one club member plans a public confrontation at the next meeting.

Amy, as you might expect, is less strident. Her advice: "The person who leads the next group meeting should start by asking members to state their objectives, and the group should decide on very basic ground rules. Each meeting should be moderated by one person, who can direct the conversation away from anecdotes and toward the book. If this one member can't adjust to the style of the group, then she should be encouraged (privately) to find another group."

My book club has never had to confront this challenge -- mainly because it's more of a social gathering where the ratio of eating and drinking to book discussion is about 10:1. But more studious clubs face problems like Mary's, compounded by the web of personal relationships. I know several people who have dropped out of book clubs because of a mismatch between their own outlook and the club's goals. Any other advice for Mary?