On book club etiquette
I'm not a huge reader of Ask Amy or other advice columns (though I do completely order my life according to the daily horoscope). But I was drawn to this recent topic about a book club member who used the group's email list to drum up business for her husband.
Is this an isolated problem, or have others suffered such bad behavior? Now's the time to discreetly suggest to wayward members that some behavior modification is in order.
For the record, here's Amy's column: Dear Amy: I have a neighbor who is part of our book group. She doesn't often come to the meetings, but she has used our e-mail addresses to promote her and her husband's businesses and a student-exchange program. I only e-mail my neighbors about the next meeting. I am uncomfortable about this and would like to address the issue with her. Any suggestions?
Dear Concerned: In situations such as this, it is best to ask oneself, "What would Jane Austen do?" An Austen character would no doubt dispatch this issue with her customary rapier wit, all the while creating something of a commotion, which would be nicely and neatly resolved in about 200 pages.
Receiving a group e-mail three times over six months sounds tolerable to me, though it's obvious that you don't like it. Bring up these solicitations at your next book club meeting. If there is a consensus within your group, send your neighbor a group generated e-mail reminding her that these are private e-mail addresses, not to be used for sales purposes.
Otherwise, if you are on your own in objecting to this, reply to your neighbor yourself, asking her to please remove your e-mail address from her group e-mails. You needn't go into chapter and verse about her infractions and how they affect you -- keep it simple.








Comments
I wonder if Amy knows that the Elizabeth Bennet of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" would dispatch the offending book club member with a few well-placed kicks to the head.
Posted by: Gail Farrelly | June 29, 2009 11:25 AM
I remember reading this. And I don't consider three "commercial" emails sent to a "personal" group list acceptable over any time period.
I really am a b*tch.
Posted by: Eve | June 29, 2009 12:14 PM
Eve, I bet a lot of folks feel the way you do. Members of my book club may point out a news article that others would be interested in, but they stay away from commercial emails.
Posted by: Dave | June 29, 2009 12:48 PM
Hi,
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Posted by: Mark Reece | December 15, 2009 2:56 PM