Book club breakups
I'm Mary Carole McCauley, and I'm new to this blog, but not to The Sun. I've devoured books ever since I was 6-years-old and puzzled out the words to A Home For a Bunny. You've read my theater criticism in the paper, as well as occasional book-related features, but from now on, I'll hang out from time to time on my favorite block in Baltimore: Read Street.
Here's my question for the day: Have you ever broken up with your book club? I have, and I still feel pangs of guilt.
For several years after moving to Charm City in 2000, I hung out with a book group formed by my university alumni association. The club was open to both men and women (which I liked) and we alternated between fiction and non-fiction (ditto).
But then four of my favorite club members moved out of the city, all at once. Our bi-monthly get-togethers inevitably conflicted with a family get-together or occurred on a beautiful Sunday afternoon when I badly wanted to garden. And when I made the mistake of adding up the number of books I could expect to read for the rest of my life, I realized that too large a proportion was devoted to works chosen by the club that had little genuine interest for me.
The conclusion was clear: I had to end things. But, how? There are blueprints -- thousands -- summing up 50 ways to leave your lover, but nary a one on calling it quits with your club.
At the time, the book group was run by a lovely woman named Sheila. Coward that I am, I sent her an email informing her that I would no longer be in attendance and requesting that I be removed from the group email lists. The response from Sheila, and from other members of the group, were, I have to admit flattering:
Had they done anything wrong? Wouldn't I please reconsider?
No, no, I replied. The problem isn't you, it's me.
Occasionally (though with less frequency as time goes on) I field an occasional request to renew my membership, and I'd be fibbing if I said I wasn't tempted. I have terrific memories of lively conversations and literary gems that I likely would never have discovered on my own. Among them are the works of Anthony Trollope, of whom I am now an avid fan.
But then I check my calendar and look outside. It's a rare 70-degree weekend in early March and the sun is shining. My niece's birthday is coming up, and my nephew's is fast behind. And a novel that I chose (as opposed to one that was chosen for me) beckons from my nightstand.
Really, it's better this way.
Does anyone out there have a similar story? What were your reasons for leaving, and did you ultimately make the break, or return to the fold? Now's your time to 'fess up.
Comments
One way to leave a book club is to be kicked out. The way to do that is to spend an inordinant amount of time discussing a book's title and first few pages. If any member tries to discuss the rest of the book, force the topic back to the title and first few pages. (That, I've heard, is what husbands do on their annual visits to their wives' clubs.)
Wordjones
Posted by: patrick k lackey | March 10, 2009 11:48 AM
Make a new plan, Stan. No need to be coy, Roy. Just set yourself free." I guess that would work for book clubs, too.
Posted by: Harvee Lau | March 10, 2009 5:22 PM
Her reasons for leaving are among some of mine for never joining one. I'd rather just pick my own. Maybe she should have spelled it out. She wants to read her own choices, she'd rather be outside or with family, etc.
And by the way...My family and I still really miss the Evening Sun :)
Posted by: dukeallen | March 10, 2009 5:47 PM
"Boy I gotta shake it off. Gotta do what's best for me, Baby, and that means I gotta shake it off." Life's too short ~ read what you want & start your own bookclub.
Posted by: Diane | March 10, 2009 8:21 PM
I'd actually love info on how to find a book club locally. I love mysteries (esp: forensic and cozy). I love poetry. I'd love to go back and tackle one of the classics that I missed in school.
I'm not in Baltimore, alas. Any ideas for places to look on the Web, to find one near me?
Posted by: Elizabeth Willse | March 10, 2009 11:22 PM
Elizabeth, go to www.MysteryReaders.org and click on Reading Groups. Also, in case you aren't a member of www.DorothyL.com (it's sort of like an online reading group dealing with mysteries), you may want to check that out.
Posted by: Gail Farrelly | March 11, 2009 1:55 PM
Hello, everyone! Elizabeth, some general ways to find a book club are to check with your library and/or favorite bookstore. Nearly all bookstores have one or more reading groups. An alumni association is another possibility. And of course, you can always start one yourself. Just gather together some literary-minded friends, agree on a format and frequency, and you're set. If you choose the latter option, one warning -- set a firm rule on snacks. :) Otherwise, you'll enter the Land of Escalating Desserts.
Patrick, I thought your suggestion of sabotage was pretty amusing. Tragically, it might not have worked in my case. I'm pretty sure that at least a few other members had already adopted your "technique" without being expelled or even mildly censured.
And Dukeallen, I'm sorry that the Evening Sun isn't around any longer, but very, very glad you still miss it. It's good to know that someone out there still cares about newspapers.
Posted by: Mary McCauley | March 11, 2009 1:56 PM