What would Raymond Chandler do?
Congrats to author Gail Farrelly, who nailed the quiz we created to mark the 50th anniversary of Raymond Chandler's death. She won Life Sentences by Laura Lippman. It all made me wonder what Chandler would be writing today, so here's a game that allows you to get creative. Just complete the phrase -- my favorites win a prize:
1. as ---- as a Dick Cheney sneer.
2. as --- as an A.I.G. bonus
3. as ---- as a Democratic Congress
4. as --- as a Detroit assembly line worker
5. as recession-proof as ---
6. as --- as a Gitmo cell
7. as ---- as Obama's teleprompter
8. as unemployable as ---
9. as --- as a hedge fund manager
10. (provide your own here)
While she always preferred The Hardy Boys to Nancy Drew, 
Comments
Poor Dick. Looks like Amy Fisher got to him, too.
Posted by: WP Tandy | March 30, 2009 8:58 AM
1. as tsunamic as a Dick Cheney sneer
2. as "coals-to-Newcastle" as an AIG bonus
....
ack! Preschooler needs me; I may be back for more fill-ins, in the meantime, I'll spread the word on Twitter
Posted by: Dawn - She Is Too Fond Of Books | March 30, 2009 1:32 PM
1. as CREEPY as a Dick Cheney sneer
2. as TENUOUS as an A.I.G. bonus
3. as SELF-RIGHTEOUS as a Democratic Congress
4. as UNDERWORKED as a Detroit assembly line worker
5. as recession-proof as a GM CHIEF EXECUTIVE'S JOB
6. as WELCOMING as a Gitmo cell
7. as EXHAUSTED as Obama's teleprompter
8. as unemployable as A SNOWMAN IN THE TROPICS
9. as CLUELESS as a hedge fund manager
10. As FRAZZLED as an IRS auditor checking the tax returns of Obama's Cabinet nominees.
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This was a fun exercise but very hard. It gave me a greater appreciation for Chandler, a genius with words!
Posted by: Gail Farrelly | March 30, 2009 2:46 PM
1 -As mutatedly twisted...
2-As Useless...
3-As bland...
4-As idle...
5- a politician's expense sheet
6-as pleasing...
7-As dogmatic...
8-ice cream salesman in the artic
9-As bent...
10-as wrinkled as ET's under-carriage
Posted by: gary dobbs/jack martin | March 30, 2009 6:01 PM
1. the waitress shoved the cup-o-joe in front of me; it was as bitter and cold as a Dick Cheney sneer.
2. with her dainty gun pointing at me, her promise to shoot me was as good an A.I.G. bonus after a bailout
3. the cop saw me hide the fake id, and suddenly i felt as weak as a Democratic Congress
4. fury and fatigue of a Detroit assembly line worker
spilled in her eyes when her husband was taken downtown . . . again
5. with her heels clacking on the tile floor and perfume wrapping around your senses, her job as a diversion was as recession-proof as check cashing joint in Compton
6. once the divorce was done, the apartment I could afford was as warm as a Gitmo cell, and just as suffocating as the 4 years I served as her husband
7. her words were warm, the voice was a musical reprieve after a tough day, and her eyes promised to deliver more soothing phrases than Obama's teleprompter
8. she stood in line for the interview, but she felt she became as unemployable as a reporter to lost a job to a blogger
9. the B Of A bank teller looked as honest as a hedge fund manager when he told me he couldn't do anything about the overdraft charge
10. his 50 year old legs tried to run after the bus, but fell like it was a metaphor short of a Raymond Chandler sentence
Posted by: ed | March 30, 2009 6:12 PM
1. as PREDICTABLE as a Dick Cheney sneer.
2. as WELL-DESERVED as an A.I.G. bonus
3. as INADEQUATE as a Democratic Congress
4. as DOOMED as a Detroit assembly line worker
5. as recession-proof as GM STOCK (if meant ironically; otherwise, as recession-proof as A WELFARE WORKER
6. as CHEERFUL as a Gitmo cell
7. as OVER-HYPED as Obama's teleprompter
8. as unemployable as A REPUBLICAN STRATEGIST
9. as POPULAR as a hedge fund manager
10. as UNFASHIONABLE as a correct tax return
11. as PREPOSTEROUS as a reality show
Posted by: Fleisch | March 30, 2009 11:13 PM
1. as appalling an Elvis travesty as a Dick Cheney sneer.
2. as Hindenburgian as an A.I.G. bonus
3. as sick-to-the-teeth of Ann Coulter as a Democratic Congress
4. as imminently likely to find oneself standing in line behind several thousand former colleagues *also* hoping to get cast as crowd-scene extras in either "Slumdog Millionaire II: Jai Michigan!" or "The Credit-Default Swaps of Wrath"--even though the only remuneration offered is "a plate of cold corn bread, a-sopping in brown salty gravy, my Lord"--as a Detroit assembly line worker
5. as recession-proof as Costco's bulk Top Ramen sales
6. as passe as a Gitmo cell
7. as refreshingly malapropism-free as Obama's teleprompter
8. as unemployable as Rush Limbaugh at a nudist hemp-macrame collective's job fair
9. as guillotine-ready as a hedge fund manager
10. as infinitisemally small as the chance of a Nader-Madoff ticket in 2012.
Posted by: Cornelia Read | March 31, 2009 12:32 AM
1. as PATHETIC as a Dick Cheney sneer.
2. as INEVITABLE as an A.I.G. bonus
3. as COUNTERPRODUCTIVE as a Democratic Congress
4. as RUSTY as a Detroit assembly line worker
5. as recession-proof as A BACK-YARD STILL
6. as CLANDESTINE as a Gitmo cell
7. as SUPERFLUOUS as Obama's teleprompter
8. as unemployable as MICHELANGELO IN A TALIBAN ENCAMPMENT
9. as EQUIVOCAL as a hedge fund manager
10. as usable as gray hair at a "Locks of Love" event
Posted by: Ellen B. Cutler | March 31, 2009 9:31 AM
1. as CROOKED as a Dick Cheney sneer.
2. as FLEETING as an A.I.G. bonus
3. as GIDDY as a Democratic Congress
4. as CUSHIONED as a Detroit assembly line worker
5. as recession-proof as A SOUP KITCHEN
6. as MOIST as a Gitmo cell
7. as INSPIRING as Obama's teleprompter
8. as unemployable as A LUMBERJACK AT A SIERRA CLUB CONVENTION
9. as LONELY as a hedge fund manager
10. as POPULAR as a BOOK EDITOR at a WRITERS' CONFERENCE
Posted by: Susan Kelley | April 2, 2009 8:49 AM