If you haven't closely followed the comments in our discussion of annoying phrases, you may have missed some great examples of mangled English. Not surprisingly, many deal with medical terms, which are foreign to most folks.

Melanie, a medical secretary, offered these gems: It is always important to get an accurate diagnalysis. For instance, information in the lungs could be ammonia. Or you could have a torn spleen in your arm (I swear I’m not making this up). Your vaginacologist or occupedist will know for sure. You may need rehability to restore your equiliberty. I could go on and on ... . If you’re still laughing and choking, there is always the hemlock maneuver.

And Hank had this: A member of our golf group has had occasion to go to the St. Agnes Hospital Imaging Center for an MRI. Upon his return he told us of his experience at the Imaginary Center. We all felt better after that one.

Reminds me of an anecdote (NOT antidote, another misused word) from my friend Les, who is a doctor. After examining a patient with heart problems, Les recommended that the man stop eating red meat. A few weeks later, when the patient returned for a checkup, Les asked how the new diet was working. The patient's wife said it was a problem, because she had to cook his steaks a lot longer now -- to make sure they weren't red!