Remember in the boom days when they said anyone could qualify for a loan if they had a pulse?

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No one ever considers the raccoon-related housing market fallout.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 9:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

This isn't strictly housing-related, but it is real estate, and more importantly it made me laugh.

Lorraine Mirabella reports today that an attorney for the developer of the mixed-use McHenry Row project in Locust Point refused to confirm to the Baltimore Planning Commission that it had signed an upscale grocer even though the project artwork "depicted a large sign bearing the Harris Teeter name" on one of the structures.

"With regard to the grocer, that has not been announced yet," the developer's attorney, Stanley Fine, said to the commission, Mirabella reported.

"Well, it has now," Commission Chairman Peter Auchincloss shot back.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 8:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
                    

Lt. Pamela Mae Snap (not an idiot): "You financed our space station with a subprime loan?"

Captain Rockit: "The loan guy made it sound like a good idea at the time."

Snap: "Did he explain the rate is adjustable?"

Rockit: "He might have, but whenever I get bored my mind wanders."

Snap: "Well, the rate adjusts after one year to--"

Rockit: "You ever wonder if waffles and pancakes are bitter enemies?"

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 8:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

If all-things-housing is your idea of fun, then Realius has the game for you: Guess the value of various homes -- California only at this point.

MortgageNewsDaily.com calls the Price Me Now game "the equivalent of fantasy baseball or football for the real estate wonk."

Realius notes in its blog that you're guessing what the selling price will be on homes that are still listed:

The object of the game is to guess what you think a home will sell for. As the game plays today, you’re not actually scored against how close your guess is to the List Price. The interface strongly suggests this, but that’s not the case. In fact, your accuracy is based on how close you are to the moving average of all of the user guesses.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 3:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

Yes. You can now pay a fee to resolve a dispute about real estate that doesn't, in the physical sense of the word, exist.

From the press release:

"Mediation offers the parties an opportunity to resolve their concerns in a respectful, creative way that often keeps the relationship intact afterward," said Ronnie Howell of Open Dialogue. "In contrast, arbitration offers the parties the opportunity to present their concerns to an individual who ultimately renders a decision, much in the same way a judge might do. With both processes the parties are often able to avoid what may be a costly, messy, lengthy, unhappy experience in the judicial system, especially when judicial systems aren't quite sure how to handle virtual world issues yet."

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 5:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
                    

Last night's "How I Met Your Mother" has married couple Lily and Marshall foolishly deciding to buy an apartment despite Lily's tremendous credit card debt and the 18 percent interest rate on their (apparently) subprime loan.

Ted, their friend and the show's narrator, says it's "the third and biggest" of Marshall's three big mistakes of his life.

Marshall: "We should buy a place. Baby, real estate is always a good investment!" (Ted, narrating from the future: "It's not.")
Marshall: "And the market is really hot right now!" (Ted: "It wasn't.")
Marshall: "And because of my new job, we are in such a strong place financially!" (Ted: "They weren't.")

Any other TV shows discussing the housing market?

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 7:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

The nasty older sibling added that since Ken and Barbie never insured the dollhouse, they would have no recourse in the event of fire, flood, or stomping.

The Onion picked Dayton in foreclosure-wracked Ohio as the dateline.

Thanks to InmanBlog for pointing it out.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 8:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

Mark Gilbert of Bloomberg has a hilarious -- for wonks -- list of ways Chuck Norris (of "Walker, Texas Ranger" fame) interacts with the financial markets.

Chuck Norris jokes, which cast him as the most powerful and merciless being on earth, tend to go, say: "Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk and kill."

Gilbert's housing-related additions include: "Chuck Norris doesn't target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy."

And: "The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries."

And let's not forget: "Chuck Norris subprime collateralized debt obligations still trade at 100 percent of face value."

Thanks to InmanBlog for pointing it out. There's just too few jokes involving collateralized debt obligations, I've always said.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 2:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)