So you've always secretly wanted to participate in a parade of homes, but your place is more House Ugly than House Beautiful. No problem. The Historic Annapolis Foundation has just the event for you.

It's the group's 2009 Gingerbread Parade of Homes, which is just what it sounds like: Make a gingerbread house, enter it and possibly win. The foundation -- partnering with Long & Foster Real Estate in Eastport -- has categories for children, families, adults employed in either the food or architectural design industries and adults who aren't pros. Deadline to register: Nov. 16.

The results will be on display at Annapolis businesses in December.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Housing humor
        

According to the Telegraph, "Plans for Legoland to move it to their theme park fell through because transport costs were too high and despite a final Facebook appeal for someone to take it, no-one came forward."

Number of Lego bricks: 3.3 million.

It was built for James May’s Toy Stories, a BBC series. If the house followed the original plan, its interior sported a Lego shower and toilet.

Geekologie noted the teardown on a post tagged with these pointed categories: "You fools!" and "You should have donated it to Geekologie!"

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Housing humor, Unusual homes
        

Hear a name often enough, and you won't think twice about it. But that doesn't change the fact that Maryland has some oddly named places.

Accident, for instance. Or Boring. Or Bivalve.

I wonder if a strange name keeps people from moving in. I'd like to think it instead attracts residents who like a little whimsy in their lives, or at least their mailing addresses.

Accident, in Western Maryland, does not appear to be named after a disaster. Historian Mary Miller Strauss writes in Flowery Vale, a history of Accident, Maryland that it's impossible to say for sure, but she believes a story about land speculation.

When Lord Baltimore opened lands "westward of Fort Cumberland" to settlers, two friends from Prince George's County rushed out -- separately -- to survey and claim property. William Deakins Jr. had just finished surveying 682 acres when Brooke Beall showed up and said "he had selected the same tract for his survey, calling attention to his axe marks on the trees to prove his claim":

Deakins replied that it appeared that they had selected the same land "by accident". Since he and Beall were friends and land was abundant, he proposed that Beall take over the survey already made. To this Beall agreed, although his warrant called for 778 acres. John Hanson, Jr., Deputy County Surveyor, made out the survey to Beall, and they named the tract Accident.

What about Boring in Baltimore County? It was named after a postmaster, not because it's ... well, you know. (One resident writes, "Is Boring boring? Well yes it is, but in a good way.")

Bivalve on the Eastern Shore also has a post-office-related history, according to Bivalve United Methodist Church Centennial Celebration 1886-1986 by Paul Willing. It was originally called Waltersville after a local family. But there was already a Waltersville post office elsewhere in Maryland, so in 1887, the newly appointed postmaster had to think of another name for his office. I'll bet you can guess what he came up with.

But why? In honor of oysters, "mainstay of the watermen's livelihood," Willing writes. And that's how Waltersville became Bivalve.

Here are other Maryland places with names that tickled my funnybone:

Continue reading "Would you move to Accident? How about Boring?" »

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Categories: Housing humor
        

You've probably heard people talking about V-shaped housing-market recoveries -- sharply down, sharply up -- and U-shaped turnarounds (down, flat, up).

But letters of the alphabet as economic metaphors are so 2008. The hot new thing: kitchen implements.

David Stiff, chief economist at Fiserv, tells Time's Curious Capitalist blog that he's expecting a recovery will look like a frying pan. Here's what he means:

Once the glut of low-priced foreclosures thins out and buyers are back to choosing between homes owned by more typical sellers, he anticipates a short increase in price, followed by more-or-less flat values. The Curious Capitalist says, "Following the housing bust in the northeastern U.S. in the 1980s, home prices were fairly flat for four to five years. It takes a while for folks to regain their confidence to go out and buy a house—especially a more-expensive one."

If you're scratching your head over the comparison to a frying pan, picture a two-dimensional drawing: down, then flat, then up a bit, then -- along the handle -- flat once again. (Actually, you don't need to imagine it. You can see Stiff's doodle here.)

This prompted a tongue-in-cheek response from a reader who wondered if the frying-pan handle could "possibly have an upward tilt, or perhaps an ergonomically designed grip," and warned that if "it's a Pyrex frying pan, you could slip right off that handle into the fire."

Ouch. Don't get folks started on the subject of "green shoots," either.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Housing forecasts, Housing humor
        

Stewart: "AIG is making some radical changes."

Clip of Edward Liddy, the company's CEO: "I think the AIG name is so thoroughly wounded, ... we've already begun the rebranding process to AIU."

Stewart: "$180 billion dollars and all you come up with is, 'Why don't we change a letter.' Talk about buying a vowel!"

You've got to laugh or you'll cry, right?

For non-comedy reporting on AIG's rebranding, see this Reuters story about efforts "to distance the giant insurer's sprawling operations across 130 countries away from the AIG name" and this Bloomberg article about the company taking its logo off ID badges and company credit cards.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 12:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Housing humor
        

(A lot of the troubled assets in banks getting Troubled Asset Relief Program money are mortgage-related, so I'm calling this housing humor.)

Simpsons fans will recall that a few weeks ago, the family's adjustable-rate mortgage adjusted and they lost their home to foreclosure. Hijinks with neighbor Ned ensued.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 7:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Housing humor
        

Q. What are sellers asking for?

A. To sell, of course.

Q. Besides that, you nincompoop.

A. I'm not the nincompoop asking foolish questions.

Q. That's not an answer. You have to answer -- it's your raison d'être.

A. That's not a question. J'accuse.

Q. What did I do to deserve this?

A. Oh -- you know. And to answer your poorly worded earlier question, sellers are asking for less than they used to. 

Q. Now we're getting somewhere. How much less?

A. Well, the median house on the market in the Baltimore metro area this month is priced at $296,000, according to HousingTracker.net. That's down 9 percent from a year ago, when the median asking price was about $325,000. And it's down 15 percent from July 2006, when the median asking price was almost $350,000.

Q. What's the median? And why should I care?

A. The median is the midpoint, which means half the asking prices are cheaper and half more expensive. And I have no idea why you should care, as you don't technically exist and are therefore not likely to qualify for a mortgage. ... Nowadays, at least.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 9:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Categories: Housing humor
        

Remember in the boom days when they said anyone could qualify for a loan if they had a pulse?

more cat pictures

No one ever considers the raccoon-related housing market fallout.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 9:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Housing humor
        

This isn't strictly housing-related, but it is real estate, and more importantly it made me laugh.

Lorraine Mirabella reports today that an attorney for the developer of the mixed-use McHenry Row project in Locust Point refused to confirm to the Baltimore Planning Commission that it had signed an upscale grocer even though the project artwork "depicted a large sign bearing the Harris Teeter name" on one of the structures.

"With regard to the grocer, that has not been announced yet," the developer's attorney, Stanley Fine, said to the commission, Mirabella reported.

"Well, it has now," Commission Chairman Peter Auchincloss shot back.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 8:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Housing humor
        

Lt. Pamela Mae Snap (not an idiot): "You financed our space station with a subprime loan?"

Captain Rockit: "The loan guy made it sound like a good idea at the time."

Snap: "Did he explain the rate is adjustable?"

Rockit: "He might have, but whenever I get bored my mind wanders."

Snap: "Well, the rate adjusts after one year to--"

Rockit: "You ever wonder if waffles and pancakes are bitter enemies?"

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 8:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Housing humor
        

If all-things-housing is your idea of fun, then Realius has the game for you: Guess the value of various homes -- California only at this point.

MortgageNewsDaily.com calls the Price Me Now game "the equivalent of fantasy baseball or football for the real estate wonk."

Realius notes in its blog that you're guessing what the selling price will be on homes that are still listed:

The object of the game is to guess what you think a home will sell for. As the game plays today, you’re not actually scored against how close your guess is to the List Price. The interface strongly suggests this, but that’s not the case. In fact, your accuracy is based on how close you are to the moving average of all of the user guesses.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 3:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Housing humor
        

Yes. You can now pay a fee to resolve a dispute about real estate that doesn't, in the physical sense of the word, exist.

From the press release:

"Mediation offers the parties an opportunity to resolve their concerns in a respectful, creative way that often keeps the relationship intact afterward," said Ronnie Howell of Open Dialogue. "In contrast, arbitration offers the parties the opportunity to present their concerns to an individual who ultimately renders a decision, much in the same way a judge might do. With both processes the parties are often able to avoid what may be a costly, messy, lengthy, unhappy experience in the judicial system, especially when judicial systems aren't quite sure how to handle virtual world issues yet."

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 5:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Housing humor
        

Last night's "How I Met Your Mother" has married couple Lily and Marshall foolishly deciding to buy an apartment despite Lily's tremendous credit card debt and the 18 percent interest rate on their (apparently) subprime loan.

Ted, their friend and the show's narrator, says it's "the third and biggest" of Marshall's three big mistakes of his life.

Marshall: "We should buy a place. Baby, real estate is always a good investment!" (Ted, narrating from the future: "It's not.")
Marshall: "And the market is really hot right now!" (Ted: "It wasn't.")
Marshall: "And because of my new job, we are in such a strong place financially!" (Ted: "They weren't.")

Any other TV shows discussing the housing market?

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 7:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Housing humor
        

The nasty older sibling added that since Ken and Barbie never insured the dollhouse, they would have no recourse in the event of fire, flood, or stomping.

The Onion picked Dayton in foreclosure-wracked Ohio as the dateline.

Thanks to InmanBlog for pointing it out.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 8:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Housing humor
        

Mark Gilbert of Bloomberg has a hilarious -- for wonks -- list of ways Chuck Norris (of "Walker, Texas Ranger" fame) interacts with the financial markets.

Chuck Norris jokes, which cast him as the most powerful and merciless being on earth, tend to go, say: "Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk and kill."

Gilbert's housing-related additions include: "Chuck Norris doesn't target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy."

And: "The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries."

And let's not forget: "Chuck Norris subprime collateralized debt obligations still trade at 100 percent of face value."

Thanks to InmanBlog for pointing it out. There's just too few jokes involving collateralized debt obligations, I've always said.

Posted by Jamie Smith Hopkins at 2:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Housing humor