How-to Monday: Neighbor disputes
Image courtesy of Ben Earwicker, Garrison Photography, via Stock.XCHNG
Loud music playing in the wee hours. Front yard doubling as a junk yard. Incursions into your property.
What do you do about a neighbor who's driving you crazy?
A Wonk reader wonders because one of hers planted bushes on her side of the property line. But frustrations with neighbors can be many and varied.
Maryland's Peoples Law Library keeps a handy list of steps you can take to resolve disputes. Before you turn to the police, an attorney or small-claims court, try:
Talking. Broach the subject with your neighbor -- nicely. ("Assume the other person is unaware of the problem, or at least act like it!" the library list advises.) If you've never spoken before, introduce yourself first; complain later.
Writing. Put your concerns in a letter, if talking goes nowhere. Do you think the neighbor is breaking a law or ordinance? Include a copy of the rules with the letter. (The library offers an example of a good letter and a bad letter.) You might also want to track the problem with a log, if it's a recurring one like noise, should you later need to involve the police or other officials.
Reaching out. Are others in the neighborhood bothered, too? Can any of them intervene because they have a better relationship with the neighbor than you do?
Mediation. It's usually cheaper than going to court -- it can be free -- and it's an opportunity for both sides to hash out their issues under the guidance of a neutral third party.
Nancy Hirshman, director of the Mediation Center of the Anne Arundel County Office of the State's Attorney, says she sees a lot of neighbor disputes. Quality of life issues, she calls them: "'Your music is definitely disturbing me and your dog is running through my petunias' ... All those irritants that really get to you over a period of time," she says.
Think your neighbor would never come to the mediation table with you? You might be surprised. Hirshman says people respond to her "trump card," which is pointing out the mental-health benefit of ending an ongoing battle. And once they sit down together, a "substantial percentage" of neighbors come to an agreement, she adds.
She doesn't recommend that you make the authorities -- whether a homeowners' association or the police -- your first resort.
"As times get more stressful, for whatever the reason -- whether it's the economy or someone's house is about to go into foreclosure -- patience runs thin and they might not handle a situation as nicely as they would have if they didn't have this degree of stress," Hirshman said. "But they're not criminal. ... I always believe that face-to-face communication is the best policy, provided that you don't go over there right after some incident that has really set you off. Wait until you calm down."
Her center offers its services at no charge to Anne Arundel residents. Fees vary elsewhere; you can find a list of Maryland mediation centers HERE and a list of Maryland mediators HERE (click "mediator directory").






