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May 13, 2008

Stupid PR pitch of the day

Today's headlines: Earthquake kills thousands in China, J-Lo's babies wear Prada

Hi Jay -

Are you interested in a story about the impact of celebrity baby style on the retail industry? The Wall Street Journal reported that the obsession with what celeb babies are wearing has entrepreneurs thriving on the business of children’s style.

Jenn Cattaui, owner of Manhattan’s Babesta boutique and cited in the Wall Street Journal article, can tell your viewers about the business of baby, including:

- The Hollywood “Green” craze, and why sales of big ticket crib décor and clothing items are already up this year
- The impact on sales when a celebrity kid is spotted in a specific item
- Why parents still value designer items for their children despite the receding economy

Below is a link to the story on WSJ.com, as well as an excerpt on Jenn. Please let me know if you would like to see a bio on Jenn or additional information on Babesta.

April 25, 2008

Stupid PR pitch of the day

Dear Jay,

If you're ever by chance doing something on the correlation between how people look and how they do professionally (i.e., many believe short or heavy people have a tougher go of it), please consider a chat with nationally respected hair transplant surgeon Dr. William Rassman to discuss the connection between baldness and leadership. A timely angle in this regard might be the fact that we haven't elected a bald President since Eisenhower.

Thanks so much for your consideration!

Update: From comments. Good one!

Guess that one hit a little too close to home, eh Jay my boy?

December 6, 2007

Reuters covers the stupid press release of the day

On how to impress the boss at the company holiday party. But they sorta made fun of it, too. Hoisted from comments, here is the reply of John McKee, who wrote the book on which the press release was based. He is certainly entitled to have his say:

Jay,

I was surprised to see that you felt our tips for Holiday schmoozing deserved to be your stupid press release of the day. My intention was to provide individuals with some easy to use advice for events which many view with a great deal of concern. It seems you also recognized there were some good ideas included, based on your decision to show them to your readers under your banner.

Fortunately, other organizations agreed that these tips were valuable for
their readers. Today Reuters decided to share it at:
http://blogs.reuters.com/reuters-dealzone/2007/12/05/dont-be-that-person-at
-the-holiday-bash/

I plan to continue offering insight and suggestions which could help individuals enjoy a little more success in their daily lives. Hopefully you'll choose to allow your readers to decide what is stupid and what is helpful each time.

Looking forward,

John M McKee

December 5, 2007

Stupid press release of the day

It's been too long... This is from the PR firm for John McKee, who wrote a book about "Strategies to Ensure Workplace Success." They're trying to get him some press by coming up with a holiday angle. You thought office holiday parties were chances to unwind with co-workers and celebrate the season. Apparently they're actually do-or-die social-performance challenges in which only the most motivated flunkeys will capitalize on the opportunity to pander, pose and obsequiate (new word I just invented) for the bosses. But you musn't seem like you're doing so.

But how does one appropriately schmooze without coming off as brown-nosing? And, how does someone aptly parlay friendly party chatter into an opportunity to showcase their talents?

In time for the festivities, John M. McKee, one of America’s leading business success coaches and author of “Career Wisdom - 101 Proven Strategies to Ensure Workplace Success” among other titles, offers these tips on how to “schmooze” your way to career success at a holiday office party:

Determine the objective. In advance of an event, expert “schmoozers” think through what the best possible outcome would be relative to career growth. Think through a few realistic scenarios of how you might work toward achieving your objective.

Debrief your guest. As important as it is for you to know who the “important people” are at an event, the same holds true for your guest. The person you have chosen to accompany you to a business function, and how they behave, reflects directly on you – whether positively or negatively.

Early bird special. Arrive at the event early. Make a point of speaking to and thanking your boss and the host of the party, introduce your guest, and generally spread good tidings.. Show your humanity and connect on a different level before things really heat up.

Presence pays…literally. Generally speaking, great schmoozers are interesting and entertaining to those around them, and exude self confidence. It’s imperative to present a comfortable demeanor– however “important” or intimidating the other person may be. Appearing at ease during a time when others are feeling anxious or uncomfortable will make you look more like a “natural leader,” thus making yourself a stand out.

Maintain your visibility. The location where you are situated should be highly visible. Stand in a place that is approachable - not behind chairs or the kitchen door where there is high traffic.

Maximize first impressions. How you introduce yourself to people, especially superiors, is important. Develop more than one way of introduction, and keep in mind that the secret to a good first meeting is self-confidence, poise and emitting a generally affable air.

Due diligence. There’s nothing more awkward than standing face to face with a power player amid uncomfortable silence. Schmooze pro’s always know the right thing to say. Review current news events before the office event so you may participate in – or, even better, start – mainstream conversations about the economy, foreign affairs, and relevant “happenings” around your city. This macro awareness can put you in a whole new light in the eyes of a superior.

The great can articulate. Being able to effectively communicate, off the cuff, what you do for an organization, without gloating or over-inflating, is critically important. Long-winded answers with ebbs and flows can render the actual answer lost in translation. When and if appropriate, use the opportunity to self-promote and impart any new ideas you may have in a way that will not be construed as bragging or credit hogging way.

Nix the narcissism. Rather than focusing on self-talk, make the other person your focal point. Feed their ego by asking him or her open-ended questions, and be sure to include everyone in the conversation –with both questions and eye contact. When it’s your turn to speak, don’t monopolize the conversation, use jargon or terms that others may not understand – they won’t impress!

Calling card critical. Keep business cards with you at all times, which are often forgotten by those attending informal company meetings or social events, and dole out liberally. You want to not only remain top of mind, but also completely accessible, post-event.

Grievances need not apply. A social business event is not the time to clear the air about things, or people, that have been bothering you, nor is it a time to speak at another’s expense. Speaking negatively about others will be a greater loss for your image and career.

Imbibe and socialize with caution. There is no quicker career killer than public displays of drunkenness at a business function. Don’t embarrass yourself by dancing like a crazy person or like a predator at a club, get caught necking or act aggressive in any way.

A Nexis search shows that no newspaper or magazine has done this story -- yet. I'm sure there are some worthwhile things in the book. One chapter -- "How to Work for a Jerk and Succeed Anyway" -- surely is worth the price. But warning office partiers not to make out with their dates or do kamikaze shots in front of the boss may not be a good use of expensive newsprint.

November 13, 2007

Stupid ad of the day

Economics/life-navigation advice of the day:
Parents: Do not turn your children into actors/models/beauty-pageant contestants. Send them to college. Teach them who Benazir Bhutto is and how to solve polynomial equations. That is all.

Children's Modeling & Acting Ages 0-18 Start your child today, the legitimate way! No Fees, No Dues Ever! Easy as 1, 2, 3!

Make copies of your child's photo. On back put name, birth date & contact number.
Include short note telling them what you are seeking (modeling, commercials, etc)
Mail to the Children's Agents using our Preprinted Mailing Labels or Lists.

You will never be asked for money from anyone on our lists. We supply you the names and addresses of licensed agents nationwide.
Children's Photo's
Professional photos of babies are NOT required by the agencies on our list, rather the opposite. A few simple snapshots of your baby will do. Some parents may insist on having professional photos taken. Please do not do this strictly for modeling purposes. You will simply be wasting your money. At this stage of a baby's life, his/her looks change incredibly fast. Also know the agents on our lists will not force you to use their photographer. If you ask for a list, they will supply you with it.

Featured Items...

Parents:
for maximum exposure
also use these lists:

Personal Managers
Casting Directors
Producer/Production Co

October 16, 2007

Stupid PR pitch of the day

WASHINGTON, D.C.///October 4, 2007///In two weeks, the “Black Monday” stock market crash of 1987 will mark its 20th anniversary. As that date draws near, leading financial advisors are cautioning U.S. investors against giving in to the fears and trepidations that such a milestone can trigger, particularly in the wake of the rollercoaster stock market ride of this past July and August.

In a news conference organized today by the Zero Alpha Group (ZAG), three top U.S. financial advisors -- Glenn Kautt, president, chairman and chief investment officer, The Monitor Group, Sterling, VA., Kimberly Sterling, president, Resource Consulting Group, Orlando, FL., and Ed Green, partner, Foster Group, West Des Moines, IA. – explained why investors should resist the anxiety associated with a dreaded anniversary. In response to questions from clients and a recognition of the need to address investor fears that may not end up getting articulated other than through panic, the financial advisors detailed several different ways that the financial world of 2007 differs from and resembles that of 1987.

Glenn Kautt, president, chairman and chief investment officer, The Monitor Group, Sterling, VA., said: “It is entirely normal for investors – or any human being for that matter – to reflect on a dark date as it draws close. Americans have done this over and over again with such anniversaries as Pearl Harbor and 9/11. When it comes to the 20th anniversary of ‘Black Monday,’ the trick is to get out of the trap of obsessing about every up and down in the market. You are much better off framing a long-term plan and then sticking with it, leaving the stock market to gyrate as it does now on a regular basis. In the final analysis, that is the best prescription for anyone suffering from anxiety about the return of ‘Black Monday.’”

August 6, 2007

Stupid PR pitch of the day

Is it a real public-relations pitch for a news story? Or an idea for a Saturday Night Live skit? If it's hard to tell, it's the stupid PR pitch of the day. From my inbox:  
"RENEE RYAN, BEAUTY EXECUTIVE, CREATES GROUND-BREAKING “PET BEAUTY” CATEGORY "NEW YORK, NY – Renée Ryan, beauty brand creator and entrepreneur, has launched a unique cross-over category and created a brand-new niche in the marketplace called “pet beauty”. Launched in November 2006 at the iconic Studio at Fred Segal, Sexy Beast™ (www.sexybeaststyle.com) is a design-driven, luxury grooming and lifestyle brand that is pioneering new ground and single-handedly uniting the pet and beauty industries. dog.jpg
"With more than ten years experience in the luxury beauty industry working with companies like Estée Lauder, Avon and Unilever Cosmetics, Renée Ryan founded Ryan Basics in 2003, a full-service cosmetics and fragrance development firm who has created products for John Varvatos, The Cornelia Day Resort, Zirh International and LXR Luxury Resorts.
 "In 2006, Ms. Ryan set out to create a brand of her own. Wanting to apply her expertise to something “new and different”, her entrepreneurial spirit led her to the pet industry. A devoted dog owner and lover, Ms. Ryan researched the market in-depth and learned that it was undergoing a radical growth spurt and although there were many luxury offerings for pets in terms of clothing and accessories, there was nothing comparable in grooming.
"With a concept to create a line of pet products that were made with the same standards as the products luxury consumers use themselves, Renée pitched her project to several well-known beauty industry all-stars... Swiss fragrance house Givaudan, creator of some of the world’s most well-known fragrances, signed on to create the signature fragrance. She also worked with the former chemist from Kiehl’s to insure the products were made of only the finest plant and mineral-based ingredients. A year later, Sexy Beast™ was born."
The only thing left for Renee to do now is single-handedly unite the pet and lingerie industries.

August 2, 2007

Iowa meditators: Dow will hit 17,000

Thank goodness this blog isn't the only media watchdog holding the Iowa meditators to account for Wall Street's problems. Reuters has also meditation.jpg raised serious questions about issues in Maharishi Vedic City, Iowa, where the 1,800 transcendental meditators responsible for stock market increases and world peace are not delivering the results the American people have a right to expect. The Dow is down 600 points in a couple weeks. Who's running this show, Rumsfeld? FEMA? Helluva job, Maharishi.

From the Reuters story:

"U.S. stocks had a tough week with the Dow Jones Industrial Average suffering its worst one-week point drop in five years, but a group of meditators promise their good vibrations will send the index past 17,000 within a year.

"A group called the Invincible America Assembly made that claim and more on Friday, insisting they have America's prosperity under control and their positive vibes will bring fewer hurricanes and better U.S.-North Korean relations.

"Through group transcendental meditation the assembly -- which has 1,800 people meditating daily in Iowa since it was formed in July 2006 -- releases harmonious waves which benefit all aspects of U.S. life, spokesman Bob Roth told Reuters.

"And the group's leader, John Hagelin, said when that number reaches 2,500 within the next 12 months, America will see a major drop in crime and the virtual elimination of all major social and political woes. "Asked what it would take to achieve world peace, Hagelin said such a utopia would need 8,000 meditators."

August 1, 2007

Stupid PR pitch of the day

Brilliantly stupid! A company called TOTO put out a press release saying it would cover up planned images of naked human bottoms on a Times Square billboard advertising its bidet/toilet combo.

"TOTO, a global leader in luxury, high- performance products for the bath space, today announced that it will place a wide white bar across the "happy bottoms" on its "Clean is Happy" billboard in New York's Times Square -- in effect, "clothing" them by removing any hint of their anatomical features.

"TOTO indicated the decision to alter the Times Square billboard's content was motivated by its business objectives for the "Clean is Happy" campaign. As the company pointed out, an effective outdoor advertising billboard's sole purpose is to create consumer awareness for the product being marketed. When a billboard's content or theme creates a situation whereby its primary marketing aim -- in this case, advertising the Washlet and raising US consumer awareness of this unique personal cleansing system -- becomes secondary to distractions that draw attention away from the company's business goals, it's time to change the advertising."

What a crock. The point seems to have been to draw attention by creating "controversy." First they announced that a smiley-bottom billboard would go up in New York. Then, miraculously, a church sued for alleged indecency. Now they agree to alter the billboard for high-minded reasons.

When the billboard was announced, TOTO got mentions by UPI, the Gothamist and the Syracuse Post-Standard.

When the church sued, TOTO got written about by the Associated Press, UPI, the New York Post (Headline: "REV. 'MOON': TIMES SQ. CHURCH FIGHTS TO SPANK BUTT AD"), the (New Jersey) Home News Tribune, the York (Pa.) Dispatch, the Albany Times Union, Newsday, and the New York Times. When a judge issued a TRO against the billboard, TOTO got stories in the New York Post ("BUTTS KICKED OFF BUILDING"), the Gothamist, the (Kenora, Ontario) Daily Miner, the Bismarck Tribune, AP, Toronto Globe & Mail, and NYT.

When TOTO agreed to alter the billboard Monday, there were stories in the Post ("THE BUMS' RUSH - TUSH COMES TO SHOVE AS NUDE AD HITS THE END"), the NY Daily News, NYT, the International Herald-Tribune, Newsday, papers in Australia etc.

Do they buy many toilet-bidet products in Bismarck?

July 26, 2007

Meditate harder!

Dow is down 325 points so far on the day and fell 226 on Tuesday. Those meditation guys in Iowa got some splainin to do.

July 24, 2007

Stupid PR pitch of the day

And you thought the stock market was rising because of world growth and increasing corporate earnings. Not so, says Global Financial Capital of New York. The stock market is rising because: “Large group meditations in Maharishi Vedic City, Iowa, are creating coherent national consciousness—the basis of a healthy, prosperous, invincible nation.” 2007_07_24_dow.gif

If it's a joke, it's a very elaborate one. They've been sending me email press releases for years. And they have a Web site. Last summer 1,800 people in Iowa started projecting positive vibes, the press release says. Lo! Since then the stock market has gone up. Memo to statistics professors: If you need a case study showing the importance of distinguishing correlation from causation, this would be it.

More from the press release:

 "Prior to the Invincible America Assembly, since January 1, 2000, the Dow decreased on average approximately 0.02% percent per week. However, immediately following the beginning of the Assembly on July 23, 2006, there was a statistically significant shift to a rapid, positive average rate of growth of 0.50% per week. The probability of observing a change this large in the Dow’s rate of growth purely by chance is less than 0.014.

"As predicted one year ago, a surging U.S. stock market has charged to record-breaking highs, the longstanding nuclear crisis with North Korea is quietly being resolved without incident, and public backing and congressional support are on the rise for peaceful new approaches to resolving the Iraq war and other conflicts around the world.

"These dramatic and unexpected developments are just a few of the concrete signs of the success of the Invincible America Assembly in Iowa—the largest-ever scientific demonstration project to document the effects of large group meditations on the economic and social trends of the nation, according to Dr. John Hagelin, world-renowned quantum physicist, executive director of the International Center for Invincible Defense, and President of the Global Union of Scientists for Peace, who is leading the Assembly."

June 20, 2007

Stupid PR Pitch of the day

The worst of Jay's Inbox: A neverending series. The company that claims to have pioneered "forehead advertising" (yes, it is what it sounds like) now says it will recruit couples to post ads in their (the couples') bedrooms. The company makes something called SnoreStop, which is apparently something snorers are supposed to spray in their throats to attenuate the Harley-Davidson effect. Of course advertising in people's bedrooms, as the company puts it, reaches "a very limited consumer base" and is even stupider than forehead ads.

But they're hoping that editors, producers and writers will be gullible or desperate enough for copy to seize on this as an offbeat trend story and write about it, which is the REAL advertising disguised as journalism.

Wait! I just wrote about it! I gave them a free ad! The only remaining question is: Gullible? Or desperate?

From the PR come-on:

Dear Jay,

SnoreStop, the company which helped pioneer forehead advertising in 2005, seeks to place ads in actual bedrooms in order to reach couples where snoring relief is needed the most.

More information about this new innovative marketing initiative can be found below. I’d be happy to put you in touch with Christian deRivel at SnoreStop to discuss their plans further. Please let me know if you’re interested and however I can help.

And:

CAMARILLO, CA- JUNE 20, 2007 – Call it the ultimate form of personal advertising. SnoreStop, the company which made news around the world by sponsoring forehead advertiser Andrew Fischer in 2005, is opening the door to yet another bold new form of advertising - and it turns out to be a bedroom door.

Anxious to reach snorers and their long-suffering spouses where they need snoring relief most, Green Pharmaceuticals (the parent of SnoreStop) will shortly begin seeking couples willing to permit SnoreStop ads within and just outside of their home bedrooms, in exchange for cash prizes, a brand new bedroom makeover, or a Second Honeymoon vacation package.

The ads will come in three forms: SnoreStop posters to be placed on bedroom walls; promotional flags to be secured just outside of bedrooms; and rooftop banners to be affixed just above bedrooms. Though the final look and copy of these ads is still being finalized, the message of the new bedroom advertising program will be consistent with SnoreStop’s overriding “Save Your Marriage” campaign, designed to help otherwise-happy couples finally enjoy sound sleep without the sound.

Recognizing that bedroom advertising can, of course, only reach a very limited consumer base, SnoreStop will supplement the campaign by sending real-life couples out into the public wearing branded pajamas reading:

OUR BEDROOM IS SPONSORED BY SNORESTOP.

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE THE WAY WE SAVED OURS!

According to Green Pharmaceuticals’ Christian deRivel, “Since SnoreStop is designed for the bedroom, we realized there is no better venue for us than an actual bedroom to promote the effectiveness of our product. Our company has a history of exploring interesting new advertising venues, and we intend to make this our most ambitious campaign yet.”

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be PR flacks.

June 13, 2007

Nice timing, Yale!

Yale University will officially declare Blackstone boss Stephen Schwarzman a "Legend in Leadership" at a ceremony tomorrow at the New York Stock Exchange. Good guy to flatter: Documents filed this week for Blackstone's initial public offering reveal that Schwarzman will be worth $7.7 billion on paper after the deal closes.

Here's the canned quote from Yale B-school's Jeff Sonnenfeld:

"Having welcomed Steve Schwarzman to a dozen of our events, having worked at the two great universities where Steve Schwarzman earned his degrees, and having attended his same high school, I know that every institution touched by Steve has been proud of their association with him. Knowing many of his colleagues in the world of finance and private equity, no peer is more widely admired than Steve for his triumphant, high integrity institution-building and game-changing perspectives of evolving global markets. The four-generation panel of visionary, revered leaders presenting this award is as much a tribute to Steve as is the award itself."

Does such blather buy a Schwarzman Building for Yale? Or something even better?

June 5, 2007

Stupid PR pitch of the day

The Worst of Jay's Inbox (a continuing series):

New Study Proves Whiter Teeth Helps Land Job and Higher Salary

What if the color of your teeth affected whether or not you were hired? What if it influenced your salary? What if your white smile made people trust you more?

Well, it does. A new study conducted by Kelton Research and overseen by Smile Psychologist Dr. Dacher Keltner was recently released, proving that people are more likely to get the job offer and even earn more money just because their teeth are whiter. The study found that 58% of participants were more likely to be hired and 53% of participants were given higher starting salary offers after whitening their teeth.

Please see the full release below for more information. We’ll be happy to coordinate an interview with Dr. Dacher Keltner to discuss these compelling findings and their implications on your readers’ ability to get ahead in their jobs. With almost seven million Americans out of a job and graduation right around the corner, it’s a great time to share this latest research that could help your viewers succeed in their careers.


I mean, really. Is there no shame? Guess who paid for the "study," which the email pitch forgets to mention? Procter & Gamble, maker of Crest Whitestrips.