Today's column. The whole column is here.

A news story we might read soon:

Moody's and Standard & Poor's have downgraded the entire U.S. economy.

Effective immediately, the agencies said, America is assigned a score of "ZZZ+," a new category that more accurately captures the financial characteristics of consumers, businesses and politicians.

"Rather than taking the trouble to research thousands of companies and downgrade them one at a time, we figured we'd just get it over with," said Seymour Riteoff, a spokesman for the rating companies. "Our innovative bulk downgrading policy saves us money and, frankly, gives better results than our old system."

The U.S. economy had received the coveted "AAA" score along with other blue-chip credits such as Merrill Lynch mortgage bonds and the government of Iceland.

Now, however, the rating companies have determined that the economy's risk profile is similar to that of Las Vegas McMansions and Hummer dealerships.

Merrill Lynch and Iceland haven't fared so well, either.