I promised to write a poem about United Therapeutics' Tuesday earnings report. It was at the end of today's column. This is it. EBITDASO is earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, amortization and stock options. In other words, not exactly the bottom line.

Our profits took a hit, it's true,
But we wouldn't like to say so.
So we'll publish what you can't construe:
Our latest EBITDASO.

Sales rose by leaps and bounds, but sadly,
Our costs leapt even more.
But lest you curse our name too badly,
EBITDASO blurs the score.

Bounteous options with few strictures
The boardroom does bestow.
But you'll always lack the full, fat picture
In the land of EBITDASO.

Although our boss took home a heap,
Don't sweat the small details.
If you'd rather think we bought her cheap,
EBITDASO tells no tales.