Cheapskates: born or bred that way?
Frequent reader Bob shared a link to this WSJ article about the impact of nature vs. nurture in the making of a miser.
The writer explains how he was raised to understand the value of a dollar by relatives who kept their cars on the road for decades. This was in contrast to his wife, who will save when it comes to furniture and clothing but splurges on food.
According to the article, research shows that ...
if you have two thrifty parents, you'll grow up thrifty as well. That makes sense to me --- your parents or closest caregivers are the ones who impart their values on you, so if you see them trying to stretch their money, you'll adopt their techniques as well.
But what happens when the frugal meet the not-so-frugal? I thought it was interesting how the writer and his wife compromised when it came to making their respective instincts work. They decided he would do the food shopping to avoid impulse buys, for example. They also decided *not* to live in a tent, as the writer suggested when they first got married. Good move.
Any tips on making frugal compromises? Anything you refuse to back down on --- a certain brand of cereal, a minimum ply for your toilet paper? Share them below.
Comments
My dad was the saver in the house and my mom was the spender. So at any one point in time, I am constantly in conflict as to whether I should save or spend. Dad influences big purchases (I drove my old Honda for years until it cost too much to fix). Mama influences impulse buys (like the pair of boots I bought, but probably didn't need last weekend).
Posted by: dan thanh | October 22, 2008 5:41 PM
Coming up on 60 I've seen good and bad economic times. Listening to my mother constantly talk about the Depression when I was growing up I often felt as though I had lived through it also. My father's family were farmers and experienced the Depression in a different way. We were raised to look at spending conservatively and that carried through into adulthood. Back in the 50's and 60's there were a few families in our neighborhood who were very well off, however , you would be hard put to tell. There just wasn't that materialistic and consumer driven mindset then.
DD: ruth, I think you're right. Times have definitely changed. We are definitely a consumer-driven society.
Posted by: ruth | October 23, 2008 12:28 PM
Like Dan Thanh's parents, mine were opposites as well. My dad is a penny-pincher while my mom is a shopaholic.
It was tough reconciling this when I met my husband and he had been raised solely by his spend-happy mother.
I now find myself to be saving less than I used to and sometimes caught in the middle between my husband who always wants to buy it now, and my father who could spend the rest of his life comparison shopping.
Posted by: AlisaBS | October 23, 2008 12:29 PM
My parents are opposites too BUT my father took a lot of time with us teaching how to save, invest and prepare. I've never carried a credit card balance, we don't live above our means with a mortgage we can't afford, we're smart about refinancing when the rates are good, we cut coupons, etc etc. The only debt (mortgage aside) I've ever carried are school loans which are now paid off and my car which is also now paid off.
Holly, sounds like you got the right advice to live by ... and you're setting the right example for your own kids. I'm still thanking my dad for making me a play checkbook to track my allowance "deposits" ... it certainly taught some lessons early. --- lfk
Posted by: holly | October 24, 2008 11:50 AM